Spouse - Mother-In-Law Trouble. Need Advice!!!?

Background: My wife and mother get along well enough. There is a little awkwardness between them but they both get along fine.





My wife lost her mother 2 years ago (who were EXTREMELY close) to cancer. Ever since then, my wife has been involved in the ';Relay for Life'; a big event in our area where hundreds gather for a walk-a-thon for cancer. This is her second year and before the actual event, she sends out a link to her ';Relay for Life'; support page that asks for donations. She has really outdone herself this year and has almost raised $2000 from a large number of different donors (friends, family, students, etc...). It seems like everyone in her life has contributed something except for my parents. My wife told me that it has really hurt her feeling.





They are upper/middle class and I know a small donation would never be missed. So I confronted my mom.





So who is in the wrong? Wife for being upset. Me for confronting my mom or my mother for not contributing the $20.THXSpouse - Mother-In-Law Trouble. Need Advice!!!?
Relay for Life is an Amazing organization. I have been a Captain for years. Last year our team surpassed our goal of $10,000.





I understand though that now everyone feels the same loyalty and support to Relay that I do. If someone doesn't want to donate, that is ok. EVERYONE has their own causes and you shouldn't take it personally if someone doesn't donate.





Has your wife asked your parents if they want to buy a Luminary for someone in Honor of/In Memory of? Has she sold anything that they could buy (Dinners, etc)?





Your wife is taking it personally because of her Mother's death and that is ok, because it helps you to be dedicated and it is the help of her and others like her that makes the Relay successful.





You would think that your parent's would understand the dedication that your wife has for Relay and for their love of your wife, they should support it. BUT, it is their money and they have to decide what organizations that they will support. It is their decision and you should not have asked thema bout it unless it was something like this ';Hey Mom, have you had time to do the donation for Relay'; and let it drop if she didn't answer or wasn't interested.





Now, no matter what they do, it will not be right. If your parents give money now, it will be because you cornered your Mom. It will not mean anything to your wife because it wasn't given from the heart and it will not mean anything from your Mom because she did it for you and to keep peace.Spouse - Mother-In-Law Trouble. Need Advice!!!?
You were doing the honorable thing by asking your parents to support your wife. She should not be upset by that. It is your parents choice to give or not but with the circumstances they should be happy to give a little something.





Good luck!
Call your Mom and ask her to make a donation. Explain how this is a small gesture she can do for her daughter-in-law, By participating every year, she feels close to her Mom that way. Your Mom doesn't realize the importance of this to your wife so be a nice guy and tell her.
i can totally understand how you and your wife would be terribly upset about this. however, if your folks don't want to contribute, they don't have to and shouldn't be badgered about it. i think it's positivly stupid that they won't offer something but it's their choice. i tend to say there's another reason for their not donating.
No one is in the wrong here. Your mom can make up her own mind when to contribute and to whom.
You confronted her and?





When you confronted your mother did she have a good reason for not contributing or had she contributed elsewhere?





You kinda left us hanging after that statement.





If she refuses to contribute then she has inner feelings that is keeping her from seeing the need for it and the satisfaction it would bring your wife. Selfish reasons would prevent a person from contributing, only selfish.





Although it is really up to her who she contributes money to and when or why it would be the humble thing for her to contribute to your wife for reasons apparent to all.





No one is wrong and no one is right here. But your mother knows it has upset you and your wife and she still has decided not to contribute apparently. I would be disappointed n her for that.
I feel that family is the most important thing in life - you MUST support your family in any way you can. I hope your mom realizes how important it is to you and you wife after your talk with her.





Sometimes people get so caught up in their own lives that they can't see how hurtful some things are to other people.





No matter what - family is the most important thing and you and your wife must appreciate that also, and get over the hurt.





GOOD LUCK