My husband was diagnosed and will be starting taking meds, but right now it's so difficult dealing with him! I'm beginning to feel so bad about myself and our relationship. I know he can't help it- he's bringing me down and I'm feeling lost and depressed too.Does anyone have any advice as to how to deal with a spouse suffering from depression?
It's good he is getting medication. I know what you are going through, I just went through the same thing. Lexapro has done the trick for him AND me. Even his older brother noticed a difference in his attitude and mine. I know what you mean when you say he's bringing you down. But you have to just ignore his behavior and wait until the meds kick in. You will be amazed at the difference in him once they start to work.
Hang in there hon, hope is around the corner. Just try to be calm and take deep breaths. It helped me for awhile.Does anyone have any advice as to how to deal with a spouse suffering from depression?
My spouse has suffered from depression for about 6 years now.
All I can say that no medicine is efficient.
I think that a pychological help is absolutely necessary to help him solve his problems.
It is a great thing that you are sticking with him. I know because my fiance has stuck by me for 10 years.
You don't always need to talk about it or anything like that.
Just be there to listen, and you don't even need to answer.
Let him know you are there if he needs you.
You may also want to visit a counseler to help yourself, it is very difficult for you I know. Like I said I watch what this did to my fiance, but we worked through it. And now we are better for it.
Thank you, and it will get better. The light is there the dust just needs to clear.
Take sometime for yourself during the day !!
It is very hard to deal with a person with depression...i had a depression once, but was light one, not deep.There's no rules about this, because people are very different.Just try to see if the medication is helping, sometimes you need to change to a better one, because you don't adapt.My advice for you is to give your husband space and let him deal with his problem a bit alone...it takes time to heal, and HE MUST desire to get out of it, and also make a HUGE effort to get out of it.Just show him you are there for him, and don't feel blamed about his reactions to you right now.He is SICK!It means he is never happy, never well, just feel blue all the time...it's hard, but have faith it will pass!God bless you!
hmm.. that would be difficult to deal with but you must remember it's not you..
i would seriously think about seeing a therapist, for yourself. they can help wonders.. . . .
You are in a very difficult situation. The good news is that your husband is beginning the process of recovery and that will be healthier for both of you.
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance offers help to the families of people with mental illness. I go to a local support group with people who understand my situation. I've included the DBSA site so that you can find support in your area. There is a listing on the left side of the page so that you can follow up on whatever type of support you think will be most useful to you.
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServ鈥?/a>
http://dailystrength.org/support/Mental_鈥?/a>
Heres a site with people you can talk to with live and are dealing with the same issue and this site really does help.
I have been going threw serious depression over the past few years also. I had tried many different antidepressants. But really, They are more of a placebo then anything. They may help a bit. But usually not enough.
I then switched to ';Dexedrine'; which is an ADD/ADHD Medication.
I lifted my spirits, gave me confidence, and made me happy all the time. It really helped me get out of my depression hole.
I would suggest him trying that if the antidepressants aren't working.
Zoloft!
He's very lucky that he has a wife that is making an effort to get through this with him. Consider yourself very lucky, too, that your husband actually got diagnosed and is accepting treatment. Most men never get dianosed at all even though they are just as likely to become depressed as women.
To help you deal with it (the depression not your husband - they are two different entities) take some time out for just you and him. Go on dates on a regular basis.
My husband and I have to schedule it. Who cares if that doesn't sound romantic. It shows you adore each other enough to make it a priority.
For dates, do some things that you two used to like to do or have always wanted to do. Dates that require some physical activity (walking though a tourist town, hiking, kayaking, spulunking, picking apples, etc) are usually more fun and will leave you both feeling invigorated and uplifted.
Also, take some time for yourself every once in a while and encourage him to do the same. Talk about what a nice time you had when you get back and encourage your spouse to take some time out for himself soon. Depression can sometimes increase feelings of jealousy so going out to see a movie, getting your nails done, or taking a class may be appropriate but going out to a bar with the girlfriends would be a bad idea.
I was diagnosed with depression. It was the most difficult thing for me to accept that diagnosis and get over the feeling that other people must think I'm crazy. It took a while for me to see the distinction between my true self and the illness. It will only help both you and your husband if you recognize that difference, too.
Remember the man your seeing is not ';him';. He IS the man you love to be with. He's just sick right now. He'll get better with his medicine. It may take a few months and he'll probably have to take his meds for a long time or forever (like a dliabetic) but he's the same man you love.
As a side note, my husband was also diagnosed with depression after I urged him to be screened. If you are feeling lost and depressed, too, then pehaps you could go get screened as well.
Last bit of advice - get counseling along with the meds. It's not an effective treatment if it's just the meds. Have him go to see a counselor by himself and then both of you go to help you learn how to deal with depression within a marriage.
Below is an article about depression in men and how it differs from depression in women. God bless you both. :)
What kind of meds will he be taking? The doctors say that it can take six weeks to feel the effects of antidepressants, but truthfully some work more quickly than others.
My poor husband just went through this with me (I was severely depressed). I have been on my Rx for two and a half weeks now, and I finally started feeling it about five days ago. I almost quit taking it because I thought it wasn't going to work, but I am glad I stuck with it. I feel much better.
It is hard on the other person, though. I felt really bad that my husband had to suffer with me until I started feeling better.
Just know that it is not your fault. Right now it is probably just going to take time for the stuff to straighten out his brain chemistry.
What would really irritate me when I was depressed and before the meds started to work was my husband always asking me what was the matter. I know he was just trying to be helpful, but when people get depressed, they are easily agitated and I hated him asking me that every day, because that just made me feel worse. He knew ';what was the matter'; and asking me to explain it over and over just made me want to blow up. I wished he would just go about his regular routine instead of needling me about my feelings all the time. Like I said, I know he was just trying to show he cared but I really wanted him to be normal so I could get back to normal quickly, too. Knowing I made him feel bad made me feel worse.
Anyway, just try to go about with your normal routine. If he doesn't want to talk about it, don't pressure him or ask him repeatedly. Try to get out with your girilfriends, at least for lunch or a trip to Target or something. You don't need to leave him all day, but you do need to make sure you get your breathers. Try not to let it upset you that badly. You need to have your own time to get away from that for now, or you'll end up depressed, too.
It's just a matter of time now for the medicine to start working, so you are on the winning end of it, even it doesn't seem like it now. You're both better off today than he was before he started the prescription, so now you can just look forward to things getting better soon.
If there are other problems, such as problem drinking and things like that, then your husband probably needs more help than just the meds until he gets where he needs to be mentally. There are other things to help cope such as counseling and exercise. Anti depressanrts are miracles for many people with depression, but they aren't going to solve money problems or broken relationships, etc.
If you don't see an improvement in the next three weeks then he should go back to the doctor with a list of what is bothering him, and the doctor may make some changes. There are all different kinds of antidepressants and not every antidepressant works for every person.
Take care of yourself and don't give up. Things should start looking up soon.
The meds will take time to work (sometimes up to two weeks). Ideally, meds are supplimented with therapy, but sometimes thats not an option due to cost or insurance constraints. There are a lot of support groups for spouses of folks with mental health problems. There are lots of support groups that would welcome you and your spouse both online and in person (clergy, local support groups, etc.). Ask your doctor about local support options or how to deal with your own stress.
Depression isn't really something that a person can really snap out of on there own. Going to a Dr. to get medications was the first step. They really do help and usually begin in varying times with different people. I have went through depression a couple of times after my divorce and bankruptcy. The medications really helped me and will make you feel like a new person. It does usually take a couple of weeks but some people start noticing a change within a few days to a week. Just hang in there and know that he needs your help and that hes doing something to make a change. Things will get better.
its tough when u feel helpless.....the most you can do is be there for him , but you can't forget about you, you have to live life for u, and if you have children, for them as well. Some people need to pick themselves up , nobody can do it for them
My hubby is going through the same thing and I get really p!$$t with him sometimes. coz he sleeps alot helping out less etc etc. I just leave him in bed and go and do the things I need to do or want to do without him, gave up waiting for him to get out of bed. I am seriously thinking of see a mental doc myself just to talk to someone about how I feel, I do not want to talk to and family or friends as I feel like I am betraying him.
Remember to do little things for yourself try not to let the things he says and dos effect you to much as hard as it gets sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
