Need ideas, suggestions, advice on how to have a fair argument without yelling with my spouse?

We want to be able to have fair arguments without the yelling and exaggeration...my spouse gets so angry i think he exaggerates a lot of the time but he yells at me when he gets to angry.... .. i may do it sometimes too.. but we just want to figure out a way because the only problem we have is this... we want to work everything out..and better our relationship... we're young have kids... he asked me to marry him but i feel like we need to figure out how to have a fair arugment without the yelling etc.. before i can marry him.. so i feel totally secure.. anyone have suggestions, ideas, any programs out there for this .. for couples?Need ideas, suggestions, advice on how to have a fair argument without yelling with my spouse?
Fair argument is an oxymoron, a discussion is fair. Have you tried marriage counseling? It's just as much for soon-to-bes as married couples.Need ideas, suggestions, advice on how to have a fair argument without yelling with my spouse?
It takes maturity. Realize that in every argument or disagreement, there is fault on both sides. Try pointing out what the fault is on your side for a change instead of pointing out what the fault on the opposite side is. If you both do this it will drastically diminish the arguments. It takes a little pride swallowing but you two have to decide what is more important....being right or working it out.
My husband and I had totally different 'styles' of arguing. Now we make it a point to listen. If he tries to interrupt me I tell him to hear me out and if I try to interrupt him he says the same thing. Both of you need to take the time to actually LISTEN to what each other is saying, without judgment. It takes practice but when you learn to argue in a constructive manner, it will only strengthen your marriage. Good luck.
Basically, you have to learn how to fight fair, and you can't do that when you are angry.





When an issue arises, wait until your anger dissipates, then address the matter. Do not use accusatory words. Do not start a sentence with things like, ';I hate it when you. . .'; or ';You always. . . .';





There is a ton of help out there for you--books, couples' therapy groups, counseling, etc.





Good luck.
When you are talking w/ each other, try mirroring. that is when someone is talking to you, try and repeat back what they are saying. it supposed to show you are trying to understand what the other person is putting forth as well as giving you time to process and understand it yourself.





if that doesn't work...try boxing gloves.
try talking to him normally and when he start to yell at you have him count to 10 and stop talk to him until he is com, or walk away from him so that way he can realized that he is yelling at you instead of talking to you
you both need to get couples therapy and marriage therapy before you get married
taking deep breath and think before u speak
Try getting past the idea that you have to argue, first.





All couples have differences of opinion - instead of arguing (in which one person ';wins';) focus on understanding. When you LISTEN to the other person describe why they feel the way they do, and they listen to you describe why you feel the way you do, you come to an understanding of the other person's perspective. Then you have to mesh the two together. Sometimes it means one of you has to compromise for the greater good. Sometimes you both have to give something up.





The point is to get past the idea that one of you is right and the other is wrong. Once you let that go, the arguments go too. After that, you have discussions...

black heads