Does anyone have advice for dealing with a spouse who has ADD?

I think deep down he knows he has it but won't admit it or seek help or information out of shame. It can be so infuriating to try to communicate, he only hears half of what I say and makes a judgement of what I say from the pieces he retained. Some things he does in a rigid routine and he completes those tasks, but there are a lot more other things that get started and never finished. Sometimes I want someone to take care of me but feel like I have to keep everything going. Not all of our issues is related to the ADD, but it is definitely a factor and I wonder if there is something that can be done. He is opposed to stimulate medication (which helped my son considerably in younger years.) And otherwise health conscious, working out, eating well, uses a CPAP for sleep apnea...why is he so stubborn about this? I am not perfect by any means, but I don't have communication problems with anyone else in my life.Does anyone have advice for dealing with a spouse who has ADD?
Keep trying to get him to seek help. Routine is good for ADD.Does anyone have advice for dealing with a spouse who has ADD?
Have you tried getting the info, books, tapes about ADD and just leave them lying around the house ? Like in the bath room, or by his fav. chair ?? and when talking to him, are you in a quiet place, where there is no phone, tv, windows, etc. ??? An adult ADD is different than a child, which I am sure you know, so the ways to deal with them will be too..... but, the basics are the same.... You must find a way to make him focus on you when speaking to him....... colors also have an effect....... soft colors, NO bright or whites..... paint and decorate a room just for meditation and talking...... God bless
This is a rought road for you to have to follow. Until he admits or strongly feels he has a problem and is willing to seek help, I'm afraid that your life is going to be more of the same. It's clear that you're already burning out by your state that sometimes you want someone to take care of you. Research that I've read indicates that individuals with ADD actually have different shaped brains (I've included some sources for you) and are 30-45% more immature, cognitively. So, a 20 year old will really be acting more like 14 year old or 12 year old. Since you're son was diagnosed with the disorder, I'm sure you know quite a bite all ready. My advice to you would be to have him fill out this checklist and give him as much info as possible on the disorder. The more you expose the idea to him, the more likely it will sink in. Good luck to you on this one.
lots of patients, and lots of love
I am married and I have add. I would talk with him and tell him what you just said above in your question. Tell him your concerned that it is affecting your marriage and that your willing to be understanding and supportive but you need him to seek help. He should see a therapist or a doctor. Add can be treated even as an adult. However some things can't be helped. I hear what you are saying but I think that if he is willing to get help you should also look for some books on add and find ways that you can help him as well. Remember add in adults is different then add as a kid. Good Luck!