My spouse's emotional affair -- advice needed?

I discovered that my spouse was having an emotional affair with a co-worker last week.





After days and days of arguing and threats of divorce and separation, we finally had a level-headed, very open, heart-to-heart yesterday. I began to understand the attraction and even learned more about my wife in the process. She also told me she is trying to get over him, but she seems him everyday and she still feels an attraction. She said she can't help it.





Call me crazy but I swallowed my pride and told her to see him -- that is, outside of work and talk with him. I wanted to her to see how she feels about him without the artifice of the workplace and see if, after talking with him and learning more about him, she still likes him. This was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I told her to go to him.





After making the plans, she went. Only 2 hours later, she raced home and into my arms and told me she felt nothing for him -- that it wasn't real. Did I do the right thing?My spouse's emotional affair -- advice needed?
Hi friend,


I admire the way you handled the situation. And had spouses handled things the way you did, divorce attorneys' business will be run out of the mill. By pressuring her and restraining her, you are actually intensifying her feelings for the guy even more. As we all know, anything elusive becomes even more attractive. But when you let her go (it's still a risk my friend %26amp; again let me praise your guts as well), the guy suddenly becomes just another guy. The prohibition that intensified the feelings is suddenly gone. It's like listening to a song on the radio, how you love that song, but once you have a CD copy of it, suddenly, the excitement of hearing that song is gone. But this really is a case to case basis. The possibility that she ends up leaving you was there and I think you knew it. Be thankful that her feelings for the guy wasn't there. Anyway, hats off to you for opening the door and letting her go out and explore her emotions. Now you have her back.My spouse's emotional affair -- advice needed?
I think that what you did is a very strong thing and I admire your courage. You did the right thing by letting her be sure of what she wants. Now you can be confident that she is being honest with you and that its all over.
Well she should count her blessing, cause next time it might be you who is telling her your having that emotional affair. Everyone is in control and should never allow it to get to that point. She was wrong for feeding that emotional affair.........
I think you're being blind. I hope I'm wrong but wait a few weeks and see if she starts displaying the same behavior again. If so, it's probably time to kick her to the curb. Dont wait around for a miracle.
She should have known that co workers relationships do not work out and that she was crazy for even thinking whatever she was thinking. You got guts. Good luck sir.
Things are better than before. So whatever u did was good for both of you. Now start living and don't destroy what u have earned by letting her go once.
wow, youre a great guy and im sure she appreciates that more than ever now.
what you did its the most extraordinary thing...good luck to both of you...be happy
I did the same thing, but it wasn't for two hours, i let him go for a year to figure out what he really wanted. I stayed faithful while he went with a lot of women, i swallowed my pride and just prayed on it. The day came when i told him that i was getting a lawyer because the year was up and i needed to get on with my life. On fathers day he came to the house and asked our two sons if they wanted daddy back and our boys looked at me and asked if daddy could come home now because his vacation was over. We have been married for 27 years now and he still regrets being such a fool when he was younger and i just smile and agree.
I am going through this right now. After 3 kids and 7 years of my husband totally neglecting my emotional and physical needs, I found myself open to the idea of looking for satisfaction elsewhere. I went on vacation with my girlfriends and found a young man that I fell head of heels for. I came home and my husband knew that I was different. He realized while I was away that he had been neglecting my needs even though I openly communicated them with him. I told him about the other man. He wasn't mad so much as upset that his neglect had led me to look for comfort elsewhere. I am home now and he is trying harder than ever to prove his love to me. I do love my husband, but I am not sure if his attempts to keep me are genuine. The other guy is in the Army and is deployed in Iraq. The best thing I can tell you is to give your wife the space she needs to figure this all out. She may still love you but is afraid that things will go back to the same old situation. If you truly want to make it work, then you need to make sure that she knows exactly where you stand.
truth is 9 times out of 10 it isn't over the saying once a cheater is often true.She put it in your face! does it make it better because she told the truth about it? ummm nope!!! something is missing or wrong in your marriage.happy healthy couples have desires and temptations but resist ! She chose her path so I'd let her walk the rocky road and see how it feels. lifes about choices and as much as u love her u can't just act as if it didn't happen. try counsling or church at least because if not your prob on borrowed time with her!