1) Ignore power tripping wives who want you to respect them because their husband is over yours. These wives will do everything in their very limited power to try and make you and your husband look bad if you ';disrespect'; them. Stay away from them at all cost, but be friendly and polite. Just keep your distance. Stay FAR FAR away!
2) Do not participate in the Family Readiness Program when he deploys (it will save you a lot of drama.)
3) If you do participate in the FRP be careful what you say and to whom you say it to. Some wives have nothing better to do than manipulate your words thus giving their husbands overseas the wrong impression about who you are and who your husband is. It may effect him negatively when it comes to getting promoted because his NCOs wife is a power tripping b*tch.
4) Support your husband. Love your husband. Understand that the army and his NCOs are now in control of his life. If they want him to do extra duty because they are too lazy to do it themselves...he will have to do it. Calling them to talk about anything (even family emergencies) is basically pointless because they care about themselves and their time. The army is not as family friendly as they want everybody to believe. You may get lucky and your husband may be under an awesome NCO who believes in ';family friendliness';. I pray that is the case for you.
5) If you are not going to work. Keep a close eye on your expenses. Money is an added stressor that you shouldn't need to stress about. The army brings on enough BS for the both of you.
6) I will say this again, make sure you completely trust somebody before you tell them ANY personal information WHATSOEVER!
7) Don't believe everything you hear.
8) Be proud of your soldier but do not live vicariously through him. The army is his career. You are just a wife. A civilian. The army has no ties to you except through him. So don't get anything stuck up your a$$. Especially your husbands rank.
9) Go to school. If he gets hurt in Iraq you will want something to fall back on.
10) Dont assume he is sleeping with all of the women he works with. He is not. Granted some of them may be real sluts, not all of them are, and they deserve to be treated with respect just like the men. Trust is very big in military relationships. If you have no trust. You have nothing.
11) If you only have one child, it will most likely make sense for you to live off of base. We make $400 more a month because we live off of base. It really helps out now that I cannot work due to me being pregnant. Areas around the bases aren't always the best. Be aware of that. Go on to online forumes and ask the army wives in that area which areas are good.
I'm not a mean person, I just like it when people tell it how it is. So if anything I've said has offended you, I apologize, but it doesn't help when people sugar coat things. AinePriestess is the perfect example of a wife that has her head halfway up her butt. She seems normal, but then you tell her something like, I hate it when my husband snores. And then all the sudden your cheating on your husband. I would have no problem giving her husband respect because he is IN the service. She is a wife. And yeah, if I see a forty plus year old, I will call her miss...but I am not about to kiss her ***, sorry.Advice for newly active duty spouse?
The things i got from my wife which i loved, mostly was her support and understanding. thats all a husband can ask for while he is serving in the states or abroad. of course taking care of the children.... budgeting the extra income instead of spending it all, dont ask 2 many questions about things that are hard to talk about for him such as whats going on ...IE missions and stuff... just be theyre for him and talk and email him as much as you can... the best cure for homesickness for me was hearing my wifes voice or a email when i got back from patrol .... good luck and when he gets home just be understanding and if he needs space believe me we need it ... its not personal its just an issue he has to get used 2 and with your TLC itll come in time
What do you mean by ';we';? Are you in the military?
Depending on his MOS he will work a normal time frame during the day with training cycles throughout... He will still deploy, obviously.
BTW- ARMY WIVES HAVE NO RANK! Be polite to everyone... The power tripping wives who demand to be called Mrs. So-n-so are the ones you will never turn to for guidance or support...
First and best advice for you right now, YOU ARE NOT IN THE MILITARY!!!.
Please do support him, but remember it is his job, it comes first before all else. Get the we out of your vocabulary, when referring to his career.
Your baby is going active duty? I thought the minimum age was 17 (with parental consent)?
Is he a reserve now? Or are you planning on joining? I'm lost.
Okay here you go. My advice to you.
1. Don't be clingy. Get a job, volunteer(especially w/ the family readiness group), get a hobby. Remember the Army is not a 9-5 job.
2. Do not call his NCO or his NCOs wife complaining when he has to work late or if he gets in trouble(you do not know the whole story).
3. Do not address wives of higher ranking soldiers by their first names until you are invited to do so(a pet peeve of mine).
4. Be supportive. Do everything to help him get rank and advance his career.
5. Most important. Have fun. Make friends, enjoy all the activities your base has to offer.
Good luck.
Edit: Most of the wives who's husbands are higher ranking are also older. I believe in address all people who are older than me as Mr. , Mrs or Ms and their last name until invited to do otherwise. I'm sorry but those who have been part of the military world longer than you deserve your respect. They certainly deserve it more than the Privates wife who has been in 2 minutes and knows nothing. Not that one should be rude to a Privates wife. Having started out as a wife of an enlisted soldier I tend to look out for these wives. They are free to call me at any time or even stop by for advice. Most automatically call me Mrs. and my last name the first time they meet me(this is how their soldier's introduce me). I always introduce myself by my first name if I approach them first. This is an invitation to them to address me by it. The lack of military courtesey and respect in the Army is appaling today.
Wether or not you get involved w/ the FRG is your choice. However if you do not remember that you have no right to complain about the decisions that are made(ie how money earned from fundraiser is spent or where the Unit Christmas party is). I would suggest that you go to a few meeting and see how you like it. I have seen good and bad FRGs. When I get to a new duty station I always check it out and decide from there how involved if at all I want to be. I also think it is important for enlisted wives to come to these meetings and be heard. They make up the bulk of the wives in most units and their opinions and concerns need to be heard.
No comments:
Post a Comment