For 2 years now my girlfriend and I have dated and everything has been fine. We spend every waking moment after work together, and around 11pm she would head to her house and go to bed. I would head to my house and play video games/watch TV until about 2 am.
She typically likes at least 8 hours of sleep a night, I prefer only 5 or 6.
Now we've since bought a house together and everything has been fine for the first couple of days (I went to bed at the same time as her for the first 2 nights, the next 2 nights I stayed up playing computer and then came to bed).
On night 5 she got angry that I wasn't going to go to bed with her, despite her saying (before we bought a house together) that she'd have no problem with me staying up as long as it wasn't every night.
Anyways, I don't see a reason for flipping out and being angry if someone won't go to bed at the same time.
It's not a lack of cuddling, I do that all day with her, and it's not a lack of sex, we have that as well.Relationship advice: Do you go to bed at the same time as your spouse?
Sounds like she needs to get over it~!
Watch Scrubs they had a deal like that!
Maybe she feels that she is missing out on fun! and who likes to miss out on the fun stuff!
Talk to her and ask her why she cares so much maybe there is something your not seeing! at the same time exsplain how you feel and why you stay up!
also if she really wants to go to bed at the same time ask her to go to bed at your bed time!
talk it out work it out work as a team! give and take! and good luck!
My partner and I go to bed at the same time! 90% of the time! 7% of the time i pass out on the couch...
the other 3% he might have friends over and id on't want to pass out on them while they are having fun!
so i just go to bed!
personally i think it's a very minor thing to argue about!
but it might mean something to her! so find out!Relationship advice: Do you go to bed at the same time as your spouse?
Its a comfort thing. And like someone else said, it may also be a little bit of jealousy. She thinks you prefer the games over her. How about you meet in the middle and offer to tuck her in or lay down with her until she falls asleep and then get back up and play? Or better yet, get her addicted to your games too so you're both up all night? =]
Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. I really don't see her logic. Maybe she is uneasy going to bed in the house by herself. A little afraid maybe. Don't sweat it. Just explain that you don't expect her to stay up with you so why should she expect you to go to bed with her. Everything will go to normal eventually. It is still new to her. Maybe just humor her a bit. But still stand your ground a little. Remember, compromise.
Well, my hubby will not go to bed with out me. It use to kinda annoy me but now I think it is sweet. We always go together.
Now it is just habit. I can see your point, that it shouldn't matter but if it matters and is important to her maybe you can work out a compromise..............................
She is jealous of the games and computer! Sometimes it is nice to fall alseep next to someone as well. Never let a girl tell you she will be fine with it that is lie number 1.
Remind her she is not your mother and can't tell you what time to go to bed, i see some control issues here so you better nip it in the bud now!!
she wants to controll you, and is pissed you haven't fallen in line. this happens when people start living together. Stuff canges, and it isn't always for the better. Good luck, and hope she stops.
me and my husband go to bed at the same time...out of habit and because we are both tired
damn, u moved in 2gether, dis is where it does downhill
Hmm some times we do, sometimes we dont, but even when we do my body naturally stays up longer, so I'll stay in bed watching a show or something and he'll be snoring ';loudly'; beside me. If she's all about going to bed together put a tv in the room and watch a show or something that way she's good and your not sitting there staring at the ceiling. But don't bow down often if you wanna stay awake and play on the computer or video games go right ahead. YOU LIVE ONE LIFE DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
I try to alternate, with one night bed with my girl, one night watching DVDs. But she moans when I stay up; and I hate it when I have to lie there in bed and I can't sleep, and I could be doing other things.
So: tell her that you are writing a novel, and that she can only read it when you have finished; and tell her that the midnight hours are your most creative time for thinking about it. Keep a messy looking notebook next to your computer chair, and if she chastises you about playing games, drinking, not going to bed etc, then have a go back and tell her that she is selfishly disrupting your natural thinking rhythms and such like - then hope for the best. I tried this and it didn't work, but it was the best that I could come up with, and maybe it could work for you.
She likes your company. I think that is all she is saying but it seems like you guys are spending plenty of time together.
My husband and I go to bed together but lately he's been reading for a few minutes and I just go to sleep. I need more sleep than my husband.
One option is that if you can do what you want beside her in bed while she sleeps? The light doesn't bother me.
Or just tell her that you're not ready for bed. She can stay up with you. Compromise. Or accept. It's unfair of her to try to cramp your style. If you want to stay up then it's your choice. You're an adult. But I think she just likes the security of having you there. :-)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Advice please!! Is it possible to fall back in love with a spouse?
After the honeymoon stage was over and real life started to in our marriage it started to become apparent that my wife and I do not too much in common. Over the next three years I started to realize that while I love my wife and care for her I am not in love with her. I thought that I could find a way to be in love with her, after all I married her I must have been in love with her for me to ask her to marry me, right? I kept these feelings to myself for at least two years thinking that I would fall back in love with her after this or that holiday or event, all the while my wife was sensing that some thing was up and she would do the nicest things for me and they would change the way that I felt on the surface but not in my heart. Like I said I love my wife and care for her I am just not in love with her. Last night she starting to cry and said that she was tiered of hot getting what she needed out of the relationship. I took this opportunity to tell her how I feel. I told her that I tried to keep this from her and to fix this on my own, so I never said anything to her. I am horrible at communication skills I guess most assholes are. I told her that I want to fix this and want to see a counceler to get help, I made the appointment today.
I feel so bad, guilty, like **** that I am not in love with my wife.
IAdvice please!! Is it possible to fall back in love with a spouse?
I say at least you are now being honest and trying not to hurt her! Good for you!! Alot of stupid men would have just left her standing! Good luck and may God bless you both with a new love for each other!! Philippians 4:13 I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.Advice please!! Is it possible to fall back in love with a spouse?
Love isn't a feeling, it is a choice. Simply LOVE your wife. You are imperfect, she is imperfect, and you both choosing to love each other as imperfect people is perfect in itself. When people say they ';Fall out of love,'; means that initial feeling of googoo gaagaa is over and the relationship becomes real work.
I understand how you feel. I love my exhusband, but I am not inlove w/ him. The thoughts of having sex w/ him or of him even touching me,makes me want to puke. My hats off to you for trying counseling. But you cannot help who love or don't love.
true love is neither physical, nor romantic. true love is an acceptance of all that is, has been and will be.
you can get that feeling again
yes its most definitely possible
relationships dont take care of themselves though they need maintainance
This will answer your questions:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
It is defiantly worth a try, but after a while if the consuling doesn't work, you can't force it ya know?
Go find a girlfriend and get it over with.
yes and it is worth the effort
Yes.
Ok this might be kind of lame but I was going through the same problem. My husband and I realized how our love has died. It's been really rough but, one day out of the blue I decided to read my horoscope (which I NEVER do) and it read something along the lines a relationship of mine is changing in many ways and the next phase will be ONE of the MANY incarnations of it's life. I realized then and there love does have many lives.
There is no complete end to love. You have to take the effort to love again. I do miss the before marriage love but that died and turned into young married love, then that turned into another matured type of love that just recently died. After a short break from my husband I see now how much I love him and right now how much I want to be with him. I think the feeling is mutual because he looks at me differently now.
So just remember love has many incarnations. Just keep that in mind. You will find a way to love your wife again. Good job on seeking counseling. They usually help you two realize things in your marriage. :)
Good luck!
I don't have an answer for you but like you I am no longer in love with my spouse either. I thought maybe you would find some solace in knowing its just not you! We have been going to marriage counseling for a year now and while it has helped resolve some issues we have been having it has not helped me fall back in love with him. I am not saying this to discourage you from counseling - it can only help! And I applaud you for telling her and trying to change the situation. I did the same and it is not an easy thing to tell someone you love that you are not ';in love with them';.
Keep trying, and when you don't think you can try anymore, give it one more chance. I am still trying and trying and trying... for my husband and my children and me! I was in love with him at one time, right?!? And in a committed, married relationship you must give it all you have to save it. At least that is what I tell myself.
Good luck and dont feel guilty, just try and hopefully you will find that love again.
I know someone in a very similar situation and, contrary to what the others have answered, I don't think that you can force yourself or talk yourself into being in love with someone. You seem to even question whether you were ever in love with her. I think being in love with someone is just something you either are or are not. You do seem to care a lot about her and in that sense you love her, but I doubt that you will ever be in love with her, counseling or not! They are your feelings and it doesn't seem that there has ever been an issue for you to have fallen out of love, it just wasn't ever there to begin with. You need to be completely open and honest with her about that and then the two of you need to decide whether or not you wish to continue on this way, counseling may be able to help with that decision, but I don't think it will help with you falling in love with her!?
You had lust, not love. You wanted sex and got it and you knew what you had to do to get it from this woman. The luster wore off the lust and you were left with a woman who loves you but you really don't know much about her other than sex was good with her. Love and lust both come from the heart, it's just big differnces in the outcomes of each.
I know this is tough situation, but the best thing about it is that you realize that you have a problem and actually WANT to solve it. I have to agree with the guy who said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. You don't feel a certain way about your wife at this point, but I think you have the potential to turn it around, because you WANT to. You seem to be a caring individual and your marital relationship is obviously important to you, that says so much in itself. Get help and try to change some of the things in your life that are so routine, it may just be that you are in a rut and need to mix things up. I wish you much success!
Sounds to me that by getting counseling you are giving it all that you have to at least try to make the marriage work. Sometimes, even that doesn't work. And it is good you sat down and told your wife how you felt. You never commented if she felt the same way or not. Don't go feeling guilty over something you can't help. To live a life as if you are ';in love'; and actually are not, is a miserable feeling. Especially if you find that you have strong feelings for someone else. If counseling does not work, it probably would be better if you both went your separate ways. Better now than later when children or involved.
You worded this with alot of feeling and I can feel your pain in your question.
I will be in High Hopes that you and the Mrs. can rekindle what was there at one time.
There must be something your missing and counseling will help guide you both to what that is.
You did mention that She would do this and that to try and fix things. You didn't mention that You have tried.........so maybe it's your turn to try harder?
It's great that you do love her and care sometimes this is all that is really needed.
Good Luck to you
i could type this story from her point of view. 12 yrs for me and he never fell back in love. currently he's moving out. but he refused to try, please try for her sake. Do counseling, spend the time with her. Dont stop making love to her. Dont find another woman to confide in. it will end badly. The fact that you are willing to try lets me know that it could have happened for me. all i wanted was him to bring me a flower out of the blue. not jewelry. all i needed was a date once a month. try that for her sake and yours. I wish you luck, i hope you two find forever.
Love waxes and wains as the moon. If you want to make it work, you can but it IS work. You may want to consider marital counseling so as to absolve any issues that are making you feel this way about your wife and also to help her gain more trust in you (because she more than likely doesn't after you confessed that you don't feel the same anymore). It's goot that you WANT to fix it and I hope that she does, too. Find someone ASAP so you can spend the rest of your lives forever happy.
I think counselling will help you. Perhaps you need to look for the things you do have in common and have shared rather than the things you don't. I know it is hard - I have felt the same way...but I think it is possible to fix your marriage... with some help.
Also remember that the ';madly in love'; feeling fades in all relationships and but can be replaced with a different but deeper love based on sharing, friendship and respect.
The first step. Stop being such a man. Us men (yes i am a man) have a hard time communicating our feelings. Being married doesn't change the way you feel about someone. It's subtracting all the thing you did before you were married that changes it. Try dating her. Sounds weird but you loved her before you were married and dating her while you are married keeps the past with the present. DO the things you did before. Be the sweet guy she fell in love with. your feelings will come back. maybe stronger than before. that way when you hit your 10 year anniversary you can renew your vows
I feel so bad, guilty, like **** that I am not in love with my wife.
IAdvice please!! Is it possible to fall back in love with a spouse?
I say at least you are now being honest and trying not to hurt her! Good for you!! Alot of stupid men would have just left her standing! Good luck and may God bless you both with a new love for each other!! Philippians 4:13 I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.Advice please!! Is it possible to fall back in love with a spouse?
Love isn't a feeling, it is a choice. Simply LOVE your wife. You are imperfect, she is imperfect, and you both choosing to love each other as imperfect people is perfect in itself. When people say they ';Fall out of love,'; means that initial feeling of googoo gaagaa is over and the relationship becomes real work.
I understand how you feel. I love my exhusband, but I am not inlove w/ him. The thoughts of having sex w/ him or of him even touching me,makes me want to puke. My hats off to you for trying counseling. But you cannot help who love or don't love.
true love is neither physical, nor romantic. true love is an acceptance of all that is, has been and will be.
you can get that feeling again
yes its most definitely possible
relationships dont take care of themselves though they need maintainance
This will answer your questions:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
It is defiantly worth a try, but after a while if the consuling doesn't work, you can't force it ya know?
Go find a girlfriend and get it over with.
yes and it is worth the effort
Yes.
Ok this might be kind of lame but I was going through the same problem. My husband and I realized how our love has died. It's been really rough but, one day out of the blue I decided to read my horoscope (which I NEVER do) and it read something along the lines a relationship of mine is changing in many ways and the next phase will be ONE of the MANY incarnations of it's life. I realized then and there love does have many lives.
There is no complete end to love. You have to take the effort to love again. I do miss the before marriage love but that died and turned into young married love, then that turned into another matured type of love that just recently died. After a short break from my husband I see now how much I love him and right now how much I want to be with him. I think the feeling is mutual because he looks at me differently now.
So just remember love has many incarnations. Just keep that in mind. You will find a way to love your wife again. Good job on seeking counseling. They usually help you two realize things in your marriage. :)
Good luck!
I don't have an answer for you but like you I am no longer in love with my spouse either. I thought maybe you would find some solace in knowing its just not you! We have been going to marriage counseling for a year now and while it has helped resolve some issues we have been having it has not helped me fall back in love with him. I am not saying this to discourage you from counseling - it can only help! And I applaud you for telling her and trying to change the situation. I did the same and it is not an easy thing to tell someone you love that you are not ';in love with them';.
Keep trying, and when you don't think you can try anymore, give it one more chance. I am still trying and trying and trying... for my husband and my children and me! I was in love with him at one time, right?!? And in a committed, married relationship you must give it all you have to save it. At least that is what I tell myself.
Good luck and dont feel guilty, just try and hopefully you will find that love again.
I know someone in a very similar situation and, contrary to what the others have answered, I don't think that you can force yourself or talk yourself into being in love with someone. You seem to even question whether you were ever in love with her. I think being in love with someone is just something you either are or are not. You do seem to care a lot about her and in that sense you love her, but I doubt that you will ever be in love with her, counseling or not! They are your feelings and it doesn't seem that there has ever been an issue for you to have fallen out of love, it just wasn't ever there to begin with. You need to be completely open and honest with her about that and then the two of you need to decide whether or not you wish to continue on this way, counseling may be able to help with that decision, but I don't think it will help with you falling in love with her!?
You had lust, not love. You wanted sex and got it and you knew what you had to do to get it from this woman. The luster wore off the lust and you were left with a woman who loves you but you really don't know much about her other than sex was good with her. Love and lust both come from the heart, it's just big differnces in the outcomes of each.
I know this is tough situation, but the best thing about it is that you realize that you have a problem and actually WANT to solve it. I have to agree with the guy who said that love is not a feeling, it is a choice. You don't feel a certain way about your wife at this point, but I think you have the potential to turn it around, because you WANT to. You seem to be a caring individual and your marital relationship is obviously important to you, that says so much in itself. Get help and try to change some of the things in your life that are so routine, it may just be that you are in a rut and need to mix things up. I wish you much success!
Sounds to me that by getting counseling you are giving it all that you have to at least try to make the marriage work. Sometimes, even that doesn't work. And it is good you sat down and told your wife how you felt. You never commented if she felt the same way or not. Don't go feeling guilty over something you can't help. To live a life as if you are ';in love'; and actually are not, is a miserable feeling. Especially if you find that you have strong feelings for someone else. If counseling does not work, it probably would be better if you both went your separate ways. Better now than later when children or involved.
You worded this with alot of feeling and I can feel your pain in your question.
I will be in High Hopes that you and the Mrs. can rekindle what was there at one time.
There must be something your missing and counseling will help guide you both to what that is.
You did mention that She would do this and that to try and fix things. You didn't mention that You have tried.........so maybe it's your turn to try harder?
It's great that you do love her and care sometimes this is all that is really needed.
Good Luck to you
i could type this story from her point of view. 12 yrs for me and he never fell back in love. currently he's moving out. but he refused to try, please try for her sake. Do counseling, spend the time with her. Dont stop making love to her. Dont find another woman to confide in. it will end badly. The fact that you are willing to try lets me know that it could have happened for me. all i wanted was him to bring me a flower out of the blue. not jewelry. all i needed was a date once a month. try that for her sake and yours. I wish you luck, i hope you two find forever.
Love waxes and wains as the moon. If you want to make it work, you can but it IS work. You may want to consider marital counseling so as to absolve any issues that are making you feel this way about your wife and also to help her gain more trust in you (because she more than likely doesn't after you confessed that you don't feel the same anymore). It's goot that you WANT to fix it and I hope that she does, too. Find someone ASAP so you can spend the rest of your lives forever happy.
I think counselling will help you. Perhaps you need to look for the things you do have in common and have shared rather than the things you don't. I know it is hard - I have felt the same way...but I think it is possible to fix your marriage... with some help.
Also remember that the ';madly in love'; feeling fades in all relationships and but can be replaced with a different but deeper love based on sharing, friendship and respect.
The first step. Stop being such a man. Us men (yes i am a man) have a hard time communicating our feelings. Being married doesn't change the way you feel about someone. It's subtracting all the thing you did before you were married that changes it. Try dating her. Sounds weird but you loved her before you were married and dating her while you are married keeps the past with the present. DO the things you did before. Be the sweet guy she fell in love with. your feelings will come back. maybe stronger than before. that way when you hit your 10 year anniversary you can renew your vows
I want to seek revenge on my cheating spouse because he doesn't know a good thing when he has one. Any advice
When he goes to sleep, super glue his dick to his leg.I want to seek revenge on my cheating spouse because he doesn't know a good thing when he has one. Any advice
You'd be surprized what a pack of matches and a galloon of gas can do to the human body!! How about after peeing you squirl his tooth brush in the toilet bowl and put it back. Put his cell phone in the microwave for 2 minutes and when he gets a new one do the same. Slash the soles of all his shoes so when it rains his socks get soaked. Cut a button so it is on the verge of falling off and it does after he has put it on and gone to work. Give the remote control to your girlfriend and let her hang onto it for a week.
If you want more ideas just let me know.I want to seek revenge on my cheating spouse because he doesn't know a good thing when he has one. Any advice
Trust is something that takes years to build and seconds to destroy. The sweetest revenge is letting him/her see you go on without him/her. Do you really want to spend valuable time in this short life making both of yourselves miserable? Get a good counselor and a good lawyer ASAP and take care and protect yourself. If you have children make sure they are OK.
don't take advice from people who say cheat on him. That is just stupid. Would you want to degrade yourself for the sake of making him jealous. Does that make sense at all?
If you want him to realize what he has, then it's important to keep that intact. Your integrity is a huge part of who you are, and one of the biggest reasons for him to appreciate you. To stoop to the level of vengeful actions just makes you like everyone else. You aren't separating yourself from the women he's cheating with if you turn around and cheat as well. In some way, you are just condoning their behavior.
Real revenge is long-term, and won't be something you see or feel very fast. But I say, stay true. That way you know you can always know you were the bigger person. Just know that his cheating isn't because you are lacking in anything, but because he is. Hold onto your self-esteem and poise, and find a happy life despite his actions. It will bother him HUGELY to see you not reacting to his antics. Calmly tell him it has to stop, and if it doesn't, calmly leave. But don't become hysterical or nasty, or it just gives him more things to say about you. If you act up, it tells him that you think you need him. If you don't, you send the message that you are so above him, he's not even worth the emotional energy to get excited. You're worth more than that, and you'll just go find someone who recognizes it.
If you end up having to leave him, be a secure, confident woman, and it will bug him until the day he dies.
If you get revenge, are you still a ';good thing';? (And you can only answer that for yourself.)
Having been there, your best bet is to pursue healing for yourself because there is no way to go through what you are without a great deal of pain. I can tell you that my ex-husband has regretted his very bad decisions many times, but it took time.
kissing your new bf infront of him...
One word KARMA.
Revenge is not the answer to that...just cause he did it to u doest me u have to do it with him...Take the upper hand if he cheated on u...just know someone else is out there and wants better...and u just may be that person of better...what comes around goes around..just sit back and watch cause its coming sonner then later
Don't bother with revenge. He will reap what he sews. Trust me.
So let me get this straight you are seeking revenge and you consider you're a good thing? What you think you had nothing to do with your relationship with him? I would start looking within yourself first. Don't waste your time with revenge try to do a time-line of your relationship and see if you can learn from it. No relationship fails because of one spouse. Cheating can be just a physical or emotional or it could be just a mistake. If you are trying to save the good thing then look deeper. If not revenge is just not worth it and move on.
Poor girl, no revenge please. It will do you no good but sorrow. Have a straight forward talk with him. Have him decided on the relationship. Man is a man sometimes he gets lost along the way home so long as he gets home even though he has taken a detour. Just forgive him for the sake of marriage. Good luck.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Just wait and see, he'll get his in the end. Remember, Every dog has it's day!!!!!!
Why bother, find a new spouse :)
revenge is sour fruit
I think it is better just to be the good person and let him know you know what a bad person he is
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
Sleeping around with another man is just a good way to push your spouse away from you and turn you into whore status? I would make him think you might be doing something but don't actually do it. All that will do is make you feel miserable. Go do fun things alone with friends.
There are a couple of things that I just thought of. One would be that you could tell him the other woman called saying she is pregnant. The other would be for you to create an official document that looks like it came from the health department to the house. It should say that he has been named as a person of interest that has had sexual contact with a person that has a communicable disease and he needs to go get tested. Scare the living crap out of him. I like that idea now that I think about it and will use it myself if necessary.
a mistake cannot be solved by another mistake
Cheat on him...........that's the best revenge.
drop him off in the woods somewhere. don't kill him or anything tho---jus make him find his way home
He isn't worth it. You either forgive him or leave. I would leave if I felt like that. If he doesn't apprechiate you why would you want to bother with him. Be the better person and get out of there. That's the best revenge.
You dont have to get revenge. Hopefully, your no longer with him. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. They cant help themselves. And your right, they never know what they had till it's gone..The best 'Revenge' is for you to live the best life you can possible live, be your own person, put all of your energy on yourself and your children, (if you have them). Dont waste another minute worring about him, you dont get those minutes back.. Good luck, and keep your head held up super high! : )
the best revenge is to be happy and sucessful.
Divorce the guy
and be happy. I did it and it drove and still drives my X nuts
You want to know what the best revenge is? It's called........................ Moving on and letting go.
Do you plan to tell him you had an affair too. If you don't what good will that do. None. I have had revenge sex because I found my wife was being a real whore with her coworkers. I had an opportunity with a woman and took up on it because I was feeling so low that I felt it didn't matter. I am sorry I did in some ways, because it really didn't help me with my wife's issues. She is still a whore.
You'd be surprized what a pack of matches and a galloon of gas can do to the human body!! How about after peeing you squirl his tooth brush in the toilet bowl and put it back. Put his cell phone in the microwave for 2 minutes and when he gets a new one do the same. Slash the soles of all his shoes so when it rains his socks get soaked. Cut a button so it is on the verge of falling off and it does after he has put it on and gone to work. Give the remote control to your girlfriend and let her hang onto it for a week.
If you want more ideas just let me know.I want to seek revenge on my cheating spouse because he doesn't know a good thing when he has one. Any advice
Trust is something that takes years to build and seconds to destroy. The sweetest revenge is letting him/her see you go on without him/her. Do you really want to spend valuable time in this short life making both of yourselves miserable? Get a good counselor and a good lawyer ASAP and take care and protect yourself. If you have children make sure they are OK.
don't take advice from people who say cheat on him. That is just stupid. Would you want to degrade yourself for the sake of making him jealous. Does that make sense at all?
If you want him to realize what he has, then it's important to keep that intact. Your integrity is a huge part of who you are, and one of the biggest reasons for him to appreciate you. To stoop to the level of vengeful actions just makes you like everyone else. You aren't separating yourself from the women he's cheating with if you turn around and cheat as well. In some way, you are just condoning their behavior.
Real revenge is long-term, and won't be something you see or feel very fast. But I say, stay true. That way you know you can always know you were the bigger person. Just know that his cheating isn't because you are lacking in anything, but because he is. Hold onto your self-esteem and poise, and find a happy life despite his actions. It will bother him HUGELY to see you not reacting to his antics. Calmly tell him it has to stop, and if it doesn't, calmly leave. But don't become hysterical or nasty, or it just gives him more things to say about you. If you act up, it tells him that you think you need him. If you don't, you send the message that you are so above him, he's not even worth the emotional energy to get excited. You're worth more than that, and you'll just go find someone who recognizes it.
If you end up having to leave him, be a secure, confident woman, and it will bug him until the day he dies.
If you get revenge, are you still a ';good thing';? (And you can only answer that for yourself.)
Having been there, your best bet is to pursue healing for yourself because there is no way to go through what you are without a great deal of pain. I can tell you that my ex-husband has regretted his very bad decisions many times, but it took time.
kissing your new bf infront of him...
One word KARMA.
Revenge is not the answer to that...just cause he did it to u doest me u have to do it with him...Take the upper hand if he cheated on u...just know someone else is out there and wants better...and u just may be that person of better...what comes around goes around..just sit back and watch cause its coming sonner then later
Don't bother with revenge. He will reap what he sews. Trust me.
So let me get this straight you are seeking revenge and you consider you're a good thing? What you think you had nothing to do with your relationship with him? I would start looking within yourself first. Don't waste your time with revenge try to do a time-line of your relationship and see if you can learn from it. No relationship fails because of one spouse. Cheating can be just a physical or emotional or it could be just a mistake. If you are trying to save the good thing then look deeper. If not revenge is just not worth it and move on.
Poor girl, no revenge please. It will do you no good but sorrow. Have a straight forward talk with him. Have him decided on the relationship. Man is a man sometimes he gets lost along the way home so long as he gets home even though he has taken a detour. Just forgive him for the sake of marriage. Good luck.
Don't sweat the small stuff. Just wait and see, he'll get his in the end. Remember, Every dog has it's day!!!!!!
Why bother, find a new spouse :)
revenge is sour fruit
I think it is better just to be the good person and let him know you know what a bad person he is
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
Sleeping around with another man is just a good way to push your spouse away from you and turn you into whore status? I would make him think you might be doing something but don't actually do it. All that will do is make you feel miserable. Go do fun things alone with friends.
There are a couple of things that I just thought of. One would be that you could tell him the other woman called saying she is pregnant. The other would be for you to create an official document that looks like it came from the health department to the house. It should say that he has been named as a person of interest that has had sexual contact with a person that has a communicable disease and he needs to go get tested. Scare the living crap out of him. I like that idea now that I think about it and will use it myself if necessary.
a mistake cannot be solved by another mistake
Cheat on him...........that's the best revenge.
drop him off in the woods somewhere. don't kill him or anything tho---jus make him find his way home
He isn't worth it. You either forgive him or leave. I would leave if I felt like that. If he doesn't apprechiate you why would you want to bother with him. Be the better person and get out of there. That's the best revenge.
You dont have to get revenge. Hopefully, your no longer with him. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. They cant help themselves. And your right, they never know what they had till it's gone..The best 'Revenge' is for you to live the best life you can possible live, be your own person, put all of your energy on yourself and your children, (if you have them). Dont waste another minute worring about him, you dont get those minutes back.. Good luck, and keep your head held up super high! : )
the best revenge is to be happy and sucessful.
Divorce the guy
and be happy. I did it and it drove and still drives my X nuts
You want to know what the best revenge is? It's called........................ Moving on and letting go.
Do you plan to tell him you had an affair too. If you don't what good will that do. None. I have had revenge sex because I found my wife was being a real whore with her coworkers. I had an opportunity with a woman and took up on it because I was feeling so low that I felt it didn't matter. I am sorry I did in some ways, because it really didn't help me with my wife's issues. She is still a whore.
Advice on how to find a GOOD person for a spouse?
What would you do looking back? or what have you done for those of you who were successful?
Any advice on what you should look for, signs to look for?
Is it better to wait out the relationship and see how they are for a while, or hurry up and get married and start growing together knowing you are ';in it for life'; or trying to be that way?
Additional Question: does waiting just build tension and cause people to become different in their demeanor if both people are trying to be sexually abstinent?
say one person is still a virgin, but the other person is willing to wait, ( while doing other things ) would that time increase sexual frustration such that people's behaviors might turn them into angry people or people who are unlike themselves?Advice on how to find a GOOD person for a spouse?
You Should Look For Someone Who Is Willing To Put You First Above All Others Including Himself.
It Takes About Two Years To Get To Really Know Someone.
You Should Save Something Special For Your Honeymoon Night, And Not Give Yourself To Anyone Who Ask. What A Special Gift It Would Be If You Are A Virgin.
Sexual Frustration Is Bull, And Only An Excuse For Selfish People.
Someone Special Is Worthwhile Waiting For, And Is Especially Honorable For A Male To Preserve His Future Wife, That Is The Kind Of Love A Female Should Be Looking For,
If Both Husband And Wife ';Very Rare'; Are Virgins,Then Sex Is Second To Nothing Between The Two. And That Alone Is A Gift To Each Other That Cannot Be Topped.
I Dated My Wife For 2 1/2 Years We Played All Kind Of Other Games, But She Had Her Virginity On Our Wedding Night. If I Would Have Pushed Her Before, She Would Have Given In To Me, But I Felt I Had Someone Very Special And Wanted To Keep Her That Way. She Has Given Me Three Beautiful Children, And Has Been A Great Mother And Wife For 38 Years.
So If Someone Pushes You For Sex Before Time, Just Consider The Gift That You Are Giving Away And Why. It Can Only Be Given Once. I Am No Saint But I Hope This Awakens At Least One Person,Advice on how to find a GOOD person for a spouse?
First, know yourself and you core values, and only date people who share them.
Don't wait for their core values to change, they won't.
Don't hurry up and get married, if you're in it for life, you better be sure what ';it'; is.
If a person is willing to wait, they should be willing to wait and not be angry about it. If it makes them angry, then they really aren't willing are they?
Personally, and please note that I say ';personally';, I think that the whole ';wait for marriage'; thing is completely beyond ridiculous. I mean, a HUGE portion of the hormones that surge through your brain while you are with a person come from INTIMATE closeness. How can you know if they are even close to right for you without that? To me, it is completely against nature itself to ';wait for marriage';. I, personally, couldn't condone it in any way.
Lol, i hear alot from my wife when girls come up and see me. Not because of my physical apperance but how i am as a person. I cook, clean, take care of my wife and our kid.
I think the things to look for in a person are compassion and kindness, and alot of the times you can see that in a person by just sitting back and watching.
They shouldn't get angry about having to wait. There is always rosy palm and her 5 sisters.
I would still marry my hubbie, but I think his drinking attracted me at first, and I could now really do without it. Go for more stable, less party like.
Get to know the person. It can work rushing in though. It depends on the people.
1. Women shouldn't look for men. Men should look for women.
2. Reject anyone who does not fit the criteria that you have set.
3. Reject anyone who is pursuing you while they have someone else.
4. Be patient and keep your legs closed. Sex give a misconception as to the truth of your relationship. You may think you have love when all you have is good sex.
Well, you may fine the good person by observing his attitude, if he is honest, faithful, trusted, and helpful.
E-mail me through my portfolio and I will tell you some stuff if your interested.
Look for someone with lots of money.
The best advice is to quit looking.......Simply enjoy all people....鈾モ櫏
Well, Sexual pressure and temptation may always be present, Yes. The longer you wait may add stress to the relationship. But, That does not mean that one should give in. It takes a lot of discipline, Something I failed in my youth. Self respect and respect for your partner plus distraction from the thought may help from doing something you may regret later.
Another thing, I've always been told, Make sure the person you commit to love's you more than you love her. Although you may love that person more than life it's self, It's good to know that your spouse love's you as much as you love that person. There are too many one sided relationships out there!
Know your partners heart, Look for good traits in a person. Don't just go for looks alone. Far too many people go down that road and end up miserable.
Peace, Love and Happiness.
Personally, I think that by having sex too quickly in a relationshiip, makes people evaluate their dating partner with their genitals instead of with their brain. I think that it is important to hold off in having sex right away so the Big O does not blind you to some crappy behaviors.
I think that it is important to decide what you want in a spouse. If you date someone who does not personify the characteristics in a spouse, then stop dating that person. I don't mean that you want someone with brown hair, etc. I mean things like someone whose personality meshes with yours; someone who treats you with respect; someone whose core beliefs match yours; etc.
If you are dating someone who doesn't have the characteristics of a good spouse, then don't keep them as a dating partner.
For example, there are so many topics with women posting that their husband looks at porn and it is causing a split in their marriage. Well....didn't they know their bf looked at porn? Probably, because there are plenty of topics with single women saying that their bf looks at porn and it bothers them. If a woman doesn't want a husband who looks at porn, then she shouldn't keep a bf who looks at porn.
I think the best way is to find them in the religion where you go.
Find out their family and how does it interact with each other.
How does this person treat other family members? With kindness and consideration.
Right now all you see is the looks, gee she is cute!
that will not be so cute when she is still screaming at you at 2 AM because the car got a flat tire and you had nothing to do with it.
When sex is all that is going on and after marriage when it gets to be old stuff then you get to know the person and it is to late.
The best way to pick a spouse is to get one who is good to her parents. Has common interests and is your religion.
the farther away from what you are the least likely you will keep her as a marriage partner.
Your religion, your color, similar family's, from a common back ground.
In research those were the ones most likely to stay married.
I wouldn't change anything. I dated much older men in my past. I am currently dating someone 1.5 years older than me and it's wonderful. Without those previous relationships I wouldn't have understood better what I need.
It is definitely better to wait to know someone instead of rushing into marriage and then knowing them.
As far as sexual abstinence goes... I have had MANY friends that decided they wanted to be sexually abstinent until marriage, it never ended well. None of them ended up making it until marriage. Often times they gave it up to a boyfriend who wasn't right for them but they stayed longer because they had given their virginity to that person and that person should be their ';soul mate'; or they got so sick of waiting they lost it to some prick.
that ';while doing other things'; seems to be how they got so horny they gave up on waiting in the first place.
Any advice on what you should look for, signs to look for?
Is it better to wait out the relationship and see how they are for a while, or hurry up and get married and start growing together knowing you are ';in it for life'; or trying to be that way?
Additional Question: does waiting just build tension and cause people to become different in their demeanor if both people are trying to be sexually abstinent?
say one person is still a virgin, but the other person is willing to wait, ( while doing other things ) would that time increase sexual frustration such that people's behaviors might turn them into angry people or people who are unlike themselves?Advice on how to find a GOOD person for a spouse?
You Should Look For Someone Who Is Willing To Put You First Above All Others Including Himself.
It Takes About Two Years To Get To Really Know Someone.
You Should Save Something Special For Your Honeymoon Night, And Not Give Yourself To Anyone Who Ask. What A Special Gift It Would Be If You Are A Virgin.
Sexual Frustration Is Bull, And Only An Excuse For Selfish People.
Someone Special Is Worthwhile Waiting For, And Is Especially Honorable For A Male To Preserve His Future Wife, That Is The Kind Of Love A Female Should Be Looking For,
If Both Husband And Wife ';Very Rare'; Are Virgins,Then Sex Is Second To Nothing Between The Two. And That Alone Is A Gift To Each Other That Cannot Be Topped.
I Dated My Wife For 2 1/2 Years We Played All Kind Of Other Games, But She Had Her Virginity On Our Wedding Night. If I Would Have Pushed Her Before, She Would Have Given In To Me, But I Felt I Had Someone Very Special And Wanted To Keep Her That Way. She Has Given Me Three Beautiful Children, And Has Been A Great Mother And Wife For 38 Years.
So If Someone Pushes You For Sex Before Time, Just Consider The Gift That You Are Giving Away And Why. It Can Only Be Given Once. I Am No Saint But I Hope This Awakens At Least One Person,Advice on how to find a GOOD person for a spouse?
First, know yourself and you core values, and only date people who share them.
Don't wait for their core values to change, they won't.
Don't hurry up and get married, if you're in it for life, you better be sure what ';it'; is.
If a person is willing to wait, they should be willing to wait and not be angry about it. If it makes them angry, then they really aren't willing are they?
Personally, and please note that I say ';personally';, I think that the whole ';wait for marriage'; thing is completely beyond ridiculous. I mean, a HUGE portion of the hormones that surge through your brain while you are with a person come from INTIMATE closeness. How can you know if they are even close to right for you without that? To me, it is completely against nature itself to ';wait for marriage';. I, personally, couldn't condone it in any way.
Lol, i hear alot from my wife when girls come up and see me. Not because of my physical apperance but how i am as a person. I cook, clean, take care of my wife and our kid.
I think the things to look for in a person are compassion and kindness, and alot of the times you can see that in a person by just sitting back and watching.
They shouldn't get angry about having to wait. There is always rosy palm and her 5 sisters.
I would still marry my hubbie, but I think his drinking attracted me at first, and I could now really do without it. Go for more stable, less party like.
Get to know the person. It can work rushing in though. It depends on the people.
1. Women shouldn't look for men. Men should look for women.
2. Reject anyone who does not fit the criteria that you have set.
3. Reject anyone who is pursuing you while they have someone else.
4. Be patient and keep your legs closed. Sex give a misconception as to the truth of your relationship. You may think you have love when all you have is good sex.
Well, you may fine the good person by observing his attitude, if he is honest, faithful, trusted, and helpful.
E-mail me through my portfolio and I will tell you some stuff if your interested.
Look for someone with lots of money.
The best advice is to quit looking.......Simply enjoy all people....鈾モ櫏
Well, Sexual pressure and temptation may always be present, Yes. The longer you wait may add stress to the relationship. But, That does not mean that one should give in. It takes a lot of discipline, Something I failed in my youth. Self respect and respect for your partner plus distraction from the thought may help from doing something you may regret later.
Another thing, I've always been told, Make sure the person you commit to love's you more than you love her. Although you may love that person more than life it's self, It's good to know that your spouse love's you as much as you love that person. There are too many one sided relationships out there!
Know your partners heart, Look for good traits in a person. Don't just go for looks alone. Far too many people go down that road and end up miserable.
Peace, Love and Happiness.
Personally, I think that by having sex too quickly in a relationshiip, makes people evaluate their dating partner with their genitals instead of with their brain. I think that it is important to hold off in having sex right away so the Big O does not blind you to some crappy behaviors.
I think that it is important to decide what you want in a spouse. If you date someone who does not personify the characteristics in a spouse, then stop dating that person. I don't mean that you want someone with brown hair, etc. I mean things like someone whose personality meshes with yours; someone who treats you with respect; someone whose core beliefs match yours; etc.
If you are dating someone who doesn't have the characteristics of a good spouse, then don't keep them as a dating partner.
For example, there are so many topics with women posting that their husband looks at porn and it is causing a split in their marriage. Well....didn't they know their bf looked at porn? Probably, because there are plenty of topics with single women saying that their bf looks at porn and it bothers them. If a woman doesn't want a husband who looks at porn, then she shouldn't keep a bf who looks at porn.
I think the best way is to find them in the religion where you go.
Find out their family and how does it interact with each other.
How does this person treat other family members? With kindness and consideration.
Right now all you see is the looks, gee she is cute!
that will not be so cute when she is still screaming at you at 2 AM because the car got a flat tire and you had nothing to do with it.
When sex is all that is going on and after marriage when it gets to be old stuff then you get to know the person and it is to late.
The best way to pick a spouse is to get one who is good to her parents. Has common interests and is your religion.
the farther away from what you are the least likely you will keep her as a marriage partner.
Your religion, your color, similar family's, from a common back ground.
In research those were the ones most likely to stay married.
I wouldn't change anything. I dated much older men in my past. I am currently dating someone 1.5 years older than me and it's wonderful. Without those previous relationships I wouldn't have understood better what I need.
It is definitely better to wait to know someone instead of rushing into marriage and then knowing them.
As far as sexual abstinence goes... I have had MANY friends that decided they wanted to be sexually abstinent until marriage, it never ended well. None of them ended up making it until marriage. Often times they gave it up to a boyfriend who wasn't right for them but they stayed longer because they had given their virginity to that person and that person should be their ';soul mate'; or they got so sick of waiting they lost it to some prick.
that ';while doing other things'; seems to be how they got so horny they gave up on waiting in the first place.
Can any one tell me were to go to get some advice concerning a friend who is being beaten by her spouse?
she is a very good friend she is very scared of him and he has threatened to kill her she lives in he states i i live in uk any body give me advice on what to do thank you and he bullies her and most often he beats her and has raped her on one occasion i know of .Can any one tell me were to go to get some advice concerning a friend who is being beaten by her spouse?
http://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/donations.htm
http://wadt.org/
Two very useful websites. She is not alone. In the sites there is very useful information about seeking help and ending violence in the home.
Good luckCan any one tell me were to go to get some advice concerning a friend who is being beaten by her spouse?
Any hospital, police station or social work office will be able to give you information without asking any questions that you don't want to answer. In the UK the citizens advice bureau may be able to find out what is available in the US. Also try the library. The UK police may be able able to give you a contact in the US to talk to as well.
There are a lot of anonymous hot lines that offer help and hoe for abused people. Google some in your area. Good luck to your friend.
She needs to get out. Here's a web site in the US that might give her the resources she needs:
http://www.ndvh.org/
The number to call anywhere in the US is:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
one word ';Police';. This is called ';domestic violence'; in the buisiness and is highly punishable crime. I reccomend that you tell her to contact the her local authorities or the website and number that the person above me posted.
good luck i hope this helped!
http://www.abusedadultresourcecenter.com/donations.htm
http://wadt.org/
Two very useful websites. She is not alone. In the sites there is very useful information about seeking help and ending violence in the home.
Good luckCan any one tell me were to go to get some advice concerning a friend who is being beaten by her spouse?
Any hospital, police station or social work office will be able to give you information without asking any questions that you don't want to answer. In the UK the citizens advice bureau may be able to find out what is available in the US. Also try the library. The UK police may be able able to give you a contact in the US to talk to as well.
There are a lot of anonymous hot lines that offer help and hoe for abused people. Google some in your area. Good luck to your friend.
She needs to get out. Here's a web site in the US that might give her the resources she needs:
http://www.ndvh.org/
The number to call anywhere in the US is:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
one word ';Police';. This is called ';domestic violence'; in the buisiness and is highly punishable crime. I reccomend that you tell her to contact the her local authorities or the website and number that the person above me posted.
good luck i hope this helped!
I need advice from military spouses living in Vicenza!?
My husband is in the army and we have orders to report to Camp Ederle later this year and I am having a hard time finding out information about the base. I specifically need to know what medical services they offer. I have a child with ADHD who sees a child psychiatrist monthly. Does anyone know if they offer services like that on base at Camp Ederle?I need advice from military spouses living in Vicenza!?
You will be doing an EFMP Screening for you and your child....hate to say it, but if Facilities are not available to assist your child, you may have to ask for a different Location or your DH may have to be there alone. I'd ask for sure if the situation will allow you to join your DH. IF you're able to be there with him, then you may be referred Off Base to a Civilian Dr.... as most of the Family Members are for the Military Dr's are usually just for the Soldiers.black heads
You will be doing an EFMP Screening for you and your child....hate to say it, but if Facilities are not available to assist your child, you may have to ask for a different Location or your DH may have to be there alone. I'd ask for sure if the situation will allow you to join your DH. IF you're able to be there with him, then you may be referred Off Base to a Civilian Dr.... as most of the Family Members are for the Military Dr's are usually just for the Soldiers.
Why didnt gingrich advice palin to have an affair while her spouse was in the hospital with cancer?
thats what he did.....palin should follow these family values that worked so well for gingrich
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/2009081鈥?/a>Why didnt gingrich advice palin to have an affair while her spouse was in the hospital with cancer?
Foolish questions from foolish people. I would say you ought to be ashamed of your self, but whats the use it's a concept beyond your capability's.Why didnt gingrich advice palin to have an affair while her spouse was in the hospital with cancer?
Or John Edwards and have someone else take the rap as the baby daddy till you got busted and had to admit you be the daddy. Didn't Elizabeth Edwards have cancer.
Because her spouse was never in the hospital with cancer?
The education of Liberals is never truly complete...
Illiterate and inaccurate, you have both of the liberal traits.
Gingrich is a RINO. Sarah is the real conservative deal!
It wasn't an option. Who would sleep with her?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/2009081鈥?/a>Why didnt gingrich advice palin to have an affair while her spouse was in the hospital with cancer?
Foolish questions from foolish people. I would say you ought to be ashamed of your self, but whats the use it's a concept beyond your capability's.Why didnt gingrich advice palin to have an affair while her spouse was in the hospital with cancer?
Or John Edwards and have someone else take the rap as the baby daddy till you got busted and had to admit you be the daddy. Didn't Elizabeth Edwards have cancer.
Because her spouse was never in the hospital with cancer?
The education of Liberals is never truly complete...
Illiterate and inaccurate, you have both of the liberal traits.
Gingrich is a RINO. Sarah is the real conservative deal!
It wasn't an option. Who would sleep with her?
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