Does anyone have advice on how to get a spouse to help out more at home?

I work full time and so does my husband. I work in an office, I am an engineer and he works outside at a plant do surveying and we live in Louisiana where it gets pretty hot especially these last few months, it's finally getting cooler though. He does work more hours than me, but we make about the same since he works overtime. We have a 3 year old daughter and another one due in 3 weeks. I do everything for my daughter in the evenings like bathe her, help her brush her teeth, read a story which can take between 30-45 min while my husband watches TV and usually passes out by the time I am done. Maybe once or twice a week I get him to bathe her and put her to bed, but he doesn't do everything I do in her routine-he doesn't get her to brush her teeth and everytime he tries to say she doesn't need a bath. I get very frustrated because I have to take care of my child and have responsibilties every night and when I ask him to do some dishes or laundry or scoop the cat litter I get a ';maybe'; and he even gets angry at me sometime for asking for help and sometimes he does do it, but most of the time he passes out on the couch and doesn't do it until the next day or 2. He always says that I sit a desk and don't work outside so I should have more responsibilties at home when we get into an argument about housework. Our house is constantly a wreck and we constantly have loads and loads of laundry(most of which is his), dirty dishes, stinky litter box which I can't even do myself right now because I'm pregnant. I guess I turn into a b**** because I get so aggravated and think it's really unfair and then I'm the bad guy. You would think he would help me out more since I'm 37 weeks pregnant but he doesn't. I'm not going to do his laundry anymore so that will force him to help out in that area. I'm just so worried because I have this new baby on the way and a 3 year old, I don't know how I'm going to do it all by myself and work full-time. And he's probably going to expect the house to be spotless and dinner ready when he gets home while I'm out on maternity leave. He knows how I feel and says he's gonna help me out more, but that lasts like a day or 2. We had the discussion yesterday and when he asked me for the remote to change the channel because I had Chicago on I told him no because he watches his Discovery channel every night and doesn't give me the remote when I ask him for it he went upstairs to the room so of course I'm like great I guess he's not going to help me out again tonight because he's pissed that I won't let him have the remote and I get frustrated and bitchy again. Anyway-any advice-sorry I'm venting.Does anyone have advice on how to get a spouse to help out more at home?
I was a stay at home mom for awhile, and then when I went to work I had the same situation.. while kinda. Obviosly right now you are doing it all because he won't help out, well.... stop doing it, I mean care for your daughter and yourself and your new one (congrats by the way) But don't do his laundry.. don't clean his dishes.. after a few days or even weeks maybe he will step up and start helping, Better yet, hire someone to do the cleaning, you can get a cleaning lady pretty reasonable Maybe that will relive some stress off you for awhile, Does your daughter go to day care? Or do you have someone watch her in your home? We payed a little more to have someone come to our home, but it was well worth it, My house would be clean and dinner started by the time I came home from work. It was worth paying her extra to do that stuff for me, and we had more quality time in the evenings as a family Good Luck and your aren't being bitchy about it.. Being a full time mom and cook and housecleaner and wife and work full time outside a home is not fun at all.Does anyone have advice on how to get a spouse to help out more at home?
Polly, Guy don't like housework if posible just get a partime maid to help up. If not just compromise bcos u still want a happy family.
Just clean up after yourself. Leave his messes for him to deal with.
All I can say is I know how you feel.
Vent all you want to!!! I went through the same thing when my children were little... I wasn't fun %26amp; it was Hard! My advice is this: Do what you can %26amp; leave the rest alone. The housework will be there when you both get to it. Tell your husband that you are going to get off of his case. Just state, when you see something needs to be done, please just do it cause I'm not going to ask you anymore. I don't expect anymore from you than you do from me. We are in this together %26amp; it will have to be a partnership for it to run smoothly.





Your daughter can go a day without a bath, but brushing her teeth has to be a must! Get yourself into a routine of doing at least 1-2 loads of laundry a day. Relax when the babies are napping. Life as a full time mother, wife, %26amp; career woman never stops! Think of how it would be if you were alone trying to do this... scary thought huh? Many women do it.





Be Happy! Don't sweat the small stuff! Men feed off of their woman's energy. When your husband sees that you are Happy %26amp; doing what you can when you can, he will pitch in %26amp; pull a little more weight! Harping on him only infuriates him %26amp; he then does the opposite!





Oh %26amp; try this... with your 3yr old, have her help you the best she can around the house! Kids love that stuff... My youngest at that age used a whole can of Pledge on 1 spot of the coffee table! I will never forget that... :) Priceless!
i understand. but i don't know how to answer your question. cuz my husband only cleans on his off days, and those are the same off days that he likes to relax so i don't know. I started cleaning the bathroom because he got clorox stains on our gold shower curtain!!! he does a good job cleaning when he does,,,in my opinion he doesn't clean when i think he needs to. i was taught from my mom that if you see it pick it up, if its dirty clean it. it bothers me to look at dirt everyday and waiting on him to clean it will not get it clean faster.
Okay, this is what works for me:





I make a list of chores each week, including putting the kids to bed each night(which goes on the list seven times because that is how often they go to bed). We will initial next to what chores we do. This way, we both know that the other is contributing, and we don't have to tell each other what needs to be done. Some weeks he does more, and some weeks I do. It works really well for us because there is no nagging.
1.Remind him that you are partners and parents TOGETHER!!!


there for we should do things TOGETHER!!! or for each other and remind him that being pregnant takes a lot out of a person 37weeksor 1 day.I'm sure you both have been there before lol. No one person works harder or longer because you have a FAMILY you all work hard.


2.Yes he works outside but you deal with your children always even thou you work all day in an office at a desk you always think about your children. and carrying one is more work then any construction site or anything in the world.


3.You need him just like he needs you so talk more and work together always. having a happy healthy family starts with Loving,Talking, LISTENING and helping one another always.


if you cant talk get a outside person to help like yr mom or his or a sibling.or write me


My hubby and i are on our 27 years of being together because we talk listen and always help each other.


(sorry if you think im yelling im not thats how i get a point across large letters.lol )

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