I am married to a wonderful man (we are a gay couple). One problem though, is that I have discovered he is having sex when I'm not home with other men. I don't mean affairs, but various different guys different nights of the week (from postings on Craigslist). I'm actually not opposed to an open relationship in one sense, but it worries me that he is having sex with so many various people, many of whom are completely unattractive. Is his self-esteem that bad? Please note that I am aware and have considered the health risks (he ';plays safe'; but I'm aware of risks).I know that my spouse has sex with other people. Advice?
So dont take these risk yrself, confront him and if he really loves u he will stop that to keep u, if not then tell him u should leave because its unfair.
_K_I know that my spouse has sex with other people. Advice?
Attractiveness is irrelevant and the stmt immature and coy, but let's ignore that.
Sex addiction is unhealthy for many reasons, not all of which are physical. It should be viewed just like any other addiction. He needs help.
In the meantime, I would refuse to have sex with him.
- it's just gross.
If you have no problem with an open relationship, then it shouldn't bother you. It might have nothing to do with self esteem...maybe he just enjoys having sex with others. You sound like the one with self-esteem issues.
an affair is an affair is an affair.
Silly ---!!! Di(ks are for chix!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
I need some advice... my spouse has mad mood swings & breaks stuff when his angry infront of our 18mth old?
i dont like any kind of violence but im kind of stuck, talking makes things worse. today he told me to find somewhere else to live. thats ok for him, but i have no money %26amp; are stuck out in the bush without transport or anything. now he has taken off with bubs and they have been out all day %26amp; night/ what to do?I need some advice... my spouse has mad mood swings %26amp; breaks stuff when his angry infront of our 18mth old?
You need to figure out a way to leave him and never go back. Find a women's shelter, find somebody in the nearest town/city who can maybe come out and get you. Once you're out, find a branch of the Legal Aid Society to help you get a divorce, child support payments and all that.
How do YOU have no money? Doesn't he have money? Unless you had a prenuptial agreement, his money is your money. When he's out or sleeping, take whatever money you can.
Please don't react to this with, ';But I can't, there's no way... I have no money...'; You CAN. Where there's a will, there's a way. Do you think YOU deserve to live like that? What about your baby?I need some advice... my spouse has mad mood swings %26amp; breaks stuff when his angry infront of our 18mth old?
Leave him. go get that divorce and make himpay child support. Get out now before he starts beating you and mistreating your baby. Thes situations only get worse not better.
Call some relative or girlfriend and see if you can stay with them a few days until you figure things out. contact your goverment and see what programs or benefits there might be available to help women and children in your situation and then drop the pride and go get help. anything you can arrange is going to be better than staying. This man is a danger to you and your baby, get out as fast as you can.
go stay with family. have someone come get you . file for divorce . he will have to pay alimony and child support. do not let yourself and your child stay in danger. :) at 18 months your child will start imitating his/her father. do you want your child to grow up acting just like him?
good luck
Go live with a friend or a family member or go to a woman's home for abused women, they can give you free housing. Call someone to give you a ride. Ask a neighbor. The police. Anyone. He is abusive and it will only get worse. Get out while you still can.
And you still have that child in the household? If you want to deal with it and accept it, go right ahead. Get the child out of there. Money shouldn't be a factor where violence is in the life of a child.
Start making a way for yourself and the baby to leave. If he's told you to leave, and he knows that you have nowhere to go, then he's playing mind games with you. You and your child deserve better.
if you have parents or friends or any one i would leave him with the baby because that is way to violent especially with a baby in the house
get a restraining order against the bum! take his *** to court get him to pay your rent plus child support. Then find yourself a real man! what a Jerk!blushed
You need to figure out a way to leave him and never go back. Find a women's shelter, find somebody in the nearest town/city who can maybe come out and get you. Once you're out, find a branch of the Legal Aid Society to help you get a divorce, child support payments and all that.
How do YOU have no money? Doesn't he have money? Unless you had a prenuptial agreement, his money is your money. When he's out or sleeping, take whatever money you can.
Please don't react to this with, ';But I can't, there's no way... I have no money...'; You CAN. Where there's a will, there's a way. Do you think YOU deserve to live like that? What about your baby?I need some advice... my spouse has mad mood swings %26amp; breaks stuff when his angry infront of our 18mth old?
Leave him. go get that divorce and make himpay child support. Get out now before he starts beating you and mistreating your baby. Thes situations only get worse not better.
Call some relative or girlfriend and see if you can stay with them a few days until you figure things out. contact your goverment and see what programs or benefits there might be available to help women and children in your situation and then drop the pride and go get help. anything you can arrange is going to be better than staying. This man is a danger to you and your baby, get out as fast as you can.
go stay with family. have someone come get you . file for divorce . he will have to pay alimony and child support. do not let yourself and your child stay in danger. :) at 18 months your child will start imitating his/her father. do you want your child to grow up acting just like him?
good luck
Go live with a friend or a family member or go to a woman's home for abused women, they can give you free housing. Call someone to give you a ride. Ask a neighbor. The police. Anyone. He is abusive and it will only get worse. Get out while you still can.
And you still have that child in the household? If you want to deal with it and accept it, go right ahead. Get the child out of there. Money shouldn't be a factor where violence is in the life of a child.
Start making a way for yourself and the baby to leave. If he's told you to leave, and he knows that you have nowhere to go, then he's playing mind games with you. You and your child deserve better.
if you have parents or friends or any one i would leave him with the baby because that is way to violent especially with a baby in the house
get a restraining order against the bum! take his *** to court get him to pay your rent plus child support. Then find yourself a real man! what a Jerk!
Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
I am having a hard time with my boyfriend being gone. Does anyone have any suggestions about ways to cope? I know the first thing on everyone's mind is to go see a doctor but I have white coat syndrom. So any suggestions that I can do myself would be great. Thank you!Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
OK! I'm qualified to answer this question. Time to get out of the house, and find a job. Get a hobby. Deployments suck. I won't lie to you. Ive been through more dets, deployments and work ups then I care to mention. But that's what I do. Ive got 3 kids and a home based business to keep me plenty busy. Workout, get in shape, go to college or vocational school, start a small home based business, go home and stay with your folks. IF you see any bad news about anything military related don't watch it. Go to the family support meetings if you can. That's my best advice.Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
it depends on in what way(s) you are missing him. in general, i know, but if its more a sexual thing, i would say a nice hot bath,a p. flick and a vibrator/dildo should hold u over. emotionally, physically, etc. i would say soend more time with his relatives, or even carry pictures around of him. this way u c his face alot and after awhile u wont feel as detached as u feel now. another great idea is whenever u do feel down about him, make a camcording of ur feelings, whether its sexy or just emotional. like a video diary. if none of this helps, u really need to seek help because they are diagnosing spouses of deployed soldiers nowadays with clincal depression because of the same feelings u have, but the women never talk to anybody or try to help themselves fell a lil better to get them by until he comes home. play it smart, so he can have a sane girlfriend when he comes home.
What you need is a diversion, something to occupy your mind. Contact with other spouses in the same situation can sometimes help. Try doing something completely different that you have never tried before, like learning ballroom dancing, or becoming a volunteer assistant on an archaeological dig.
If you need something for the long lonely nights, get along to the local sex shop and try something you have never tried before, or take up astronomy and get to know the stars.
Hope this helps, good luck.
First of all, boyfriends are not spouses. You have to be married to call him your spouse.
No wonder women are so screwed up these days... they don't deal with reality.
The only thing now I can think is about future. If you intend to have his baby when he comes back, don't! Not until after his quarantine period to weed off the immunity injections against any biological agents in Iraq (could be 6months to a year)otherwise you will have severe stress from a highly deformed baby that has to be put down.
If you have white coat syndrome, ask the doctor to wear a different colored coat.
keep busy writing letters to him, also fix care packages, this will help you and him both. try to make friends with other spouses in your position they will understand your needs better than any one.our local troops came home this week, the news was full of wives and husbands talking about how they supported each other, they worked together all year, and they were very organized , the homecoming banners they made stretched for miles, my friend told me as she was coming in how wonderfull it was to read all the signs. people stood out in the heat for hours to cheer these people home. if your location does'nt have a support group, try forming one that should keep you busy, and helping at the same time. God Bless you my prayers are with you!!
try to connect with some military wives so you'll have someone to commiserate with. You'll all feel better know ing you're not in it alone.
Does his unit put on Video Teleconferences so families can see and talk with their Soldiers? If not, ask you FRG leader is the unit can start doing this.
Email, or write to him everyday. Send small gifts...just being n the look-out for a gift will help you. Start planning the Mid-tour leave plans, or the re-deployment party.
Go volunteer! Get involved with his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) They're real lifesavers, and everyone's going through the same thing you are! The FRG should be open to Girlfriend's/Significant others of unit members as well. If you moved back home when his unit deployed, consider moving closer to his duty station (unless your family is really helping you out by you being home). Exercise...go to gym everyday and make friends there. Speak with your clergyman, or a military chaplain. Plan the Wedding.
Check out www.militaryonesource.com
Just some ideas. My wife was in Iraq for 15 months not too long ago, so I know what your going through.
Take Care.
my brother's in iraq for the second time currently.
it is scary, but let yourself think about him.
keep pictures out, pray when you have spare time.
also, focus on the positive.
when a soldier dies, and it comes on tv, change the channel.
it'll only affect you negatively.
OK! I'm qualified to answer this question. Time to get out of the house, and find a job. Get a hobby. Deployments suck. I won't lie to you. Ive been through more dets, deployments and work ups then I care to mention. But that's what I do. Ive got 3 kids and a home based business to keep me plenty busy. Workout, get in shape, go to college or vocational school, start a small home based business, go home and stay with your folks. IF you see any bad news about anything military related don't watch it. Go to the family support meetings if you can. That's my best advice.Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
it depends on in what way(s) you are missing him. in general, i know, but if its more a sexual thing, i would say a nice hot bath,a p. flick and a vibrator/dildo should hold u over. emotionally, physically, etc. i would say soend more time with his relatives, or even carry pictures around of him. this way u c his face alot and after awhile u wont feel as detached as u feel now. another great idea is whenever u do feel down about him, make a camcording of ur feelings, whether its sexy or just emotional. like a video diary. if none of this helps, u really need to seek help because they are diagnosing spouses of deployed soldiers nowadays with clincal depression because of the same feelings u have, but the women never talk to anybody or try to help themselves fell a lil better to get them by until he comes home. play it smart, so he can have a sane girlfriend when he comes home.
What you need is a diversion, something to occupy your mind. Contact with other spouses in the same situation can sometimes help. Try doing something completely different that you have never tried before, like learning ballroom dancing, or becoming a volunteer assistant on an archaeological dig.
If you need something for the long lonely nights, get along to the local sex shop and try something you have never tried before, or take up astronomy and get to know the stars.
Hope this helps, good luck.
First of all, boyfriends are not spouses. You have to be married to call him your spouse.
No wonder women are so screwed up these days... they don't deal with reality.
The only thing now I can think is about future. If you intend to have his baby when he comes back, don't! Not until after his quarantine period to weed off the immunity injections against any biological agents in Iraq (could be 6months to a year)otherwise you will have severe stress from a highly deformed baby that has to be put down.
If you have white coat syndrome, ask the doctor to wear a different colored coat.
keep busy writing letters to him, also fix care packages, this will help you and him both. try to make friends with other spouses in your position they will understand your needs better than any one.our local troops came home this week, the news was full of wives and husbands talking about how they supported each other, they worked together all year, and they were very organized , the homecoming banners they made stretched for miles, my friend told me as she was coming in how wonderfull it was to read all the signs. people stood out in the heat for hours to cheer these people home. if your location does'nt have a support group, try forming one that should keep you busy, and helping at the same time. God Bless you my prayers are with you!!
try to connect with some military wives so you'll have someone to commiserate with. You'll all feel better know ing you're not in it alone.
Does his unit put on Video Teleconferences so families can see and talk with their Soldiers? If not, ask you FRG leader is the unit can start doing this.
Email, or write to him everyday. Send small gifts...just being n the look-out for a gift will help you. Start planning the Mid-tour leave plans, or the re-deployment party.
Go volunteer! Get involved with his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) They're real lifesavers, and everyone's going through the same thing you are! The FRG should be open to Girlfriend's/Significant others of unit members as well. If you moved back home when his unit deployed, consider moving closer to his duty station (unless your family is really helping you out by you being home). Exercise...go to gym everyday and make friends there. Speak with your clergyman, or a military chaplain. Plan the Wedding.
Check out www.militaryonesource.com
Just some ideas. My wife was in Iraq for 15 months not too long ago, so I know what your going through.
Take Care.
my brother's in iraq for the second time currently.
it is scary, but let yourself think about him.
keep pictures out, pray when you have spare time.
also, focus on the positive.
when a soldier dies, and it comes on tv, change the channel.
it'll only affect you negatively.
Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
do good at an interview....what would you say? what are some good rules? what are some questions to expect? what gets you hired?
How do you dress? etcOk, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
Robert Mallory wrote a best selling book called, Dress for Success. It has a lot of valuable information. And I found his advise to be very good. I worked as a business consultant for 30+ years - always having to go meet people. How you dress (the color) causes people to react to you in certain ways - many times, they do not realize they are even doing it. If money is tight, go to the public library and look for a copy.
Second, to get ready for the interview - I would write about 10 questions I thought they would ask me. And I would practice answering those questions - by talking out loud to myself (in front of a mirror). I preferred that the 1st interview be for a job that I didn't really want. To me, it was just a practice interview.
As soon as that interview was over, i would go back to my car and write down the questions they asked ma and ad them to my list of practice interview questions.
I would also make sure I got to the interview early. If noting else, I would get there 30 minutes early (due to traffic problem, trying to find a parking space, etc). so I could walk into the interview while CALM..
Don't sweat (easier said than done). And have a firm, but not overly strong handshake.
If you have a camera - film the practice interview. He might notice some body language that he is using that could be improved or avoided.
When I got out of college in 1972, it took over a year to get a job. The more I was turned down, the more depressed I got. But finally, just about when I had completely given up - I was hired.
How to dress will depend in part ofn what the job is for. Someone going into McDonalds in a business suit isn't a good match. But he can seldom go wrong with a white long sleeve shirt, and a dark blue tie. Probably best with a black belt and black shoes. Dark blue pants - but not black pants. Blue projects a business image - black pants/suits reminds people of funerals and people who do not have money. If you don't have dark blue, try a dark gray suit. If a dark gray suit, maybe a maroon tie with a matching belt. If you don'thave these thing, and you can afford to buy some of them - go with your husband to but them. But be carefukl, Mallory wrote that having a wife or GF pick out your clothes was great if you were looking for your next wife or GF. There is a difference between business clothes and casual clothes. For casual, he should listen to your advice.Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
I would research the company that he is being interviewed for. Know exactly what position he is applying for and exactly as best as you can, the duties that go with it. Make sure you are qualified for the job and have the applicable licenses, trained required by the job. No sense in wasting his and the interviewers time. Dress according to job type. example: office job might wear suit and die, not blue jeans and tshirt. construction would be just the opposite. you know what i mean. some questions:
1. why do you want this job
2. what qualifies you for this job
3. tell me about yourself
4. what is the best characteristic about yourself
5. How do you get along with supervisors
be open and ask any questions you have about the job and it's duties. DO NOT ask so when do we get breaks, is it a half hour lunch, or an hour.
a confident, knowledgeable person will be the one who gets hired.
Well, I will been in this situation next year because I am about to retire from the military. I am going to say the most important thing to do is tell the truth and be sure of yourself. Go, in with a positive attitude. Make sure you make direct eye contact. This is very important. Keep your answer short and sweet but most important to the point. As for you dress code I would say it depends on the type of job, however always use this basic principle, a pair of slacks, nice dress shirt and tie with a nice pair of dress never fails. Good luck.
I will give you a hint of something that worked for my wife. She is very smart with several degrees, but could not seem to get pass the interview process. So we sit up a camera and recorded her during a fake interview. After watching her, she saw that she was fidgety and talked to much, over answering the questions. With some practice, she was able to land a very good job. So give it a try you may be surprised at how he comes off at the interview. Good luck.
A lot of what you need to know depends on what kind of work he is looking for. If its in an office environment he should wear a tie, if he's interviewing at Walmart the dress code is less severe. Update his resume. And tell him to be honest and straight forward with his answers, don't fidget, and don't put his old job or old bosses down. Be confident.
Hasn't had any job? You got to be joking! Not even part time? How do you survive? Tell him to get off his lazy good for nothing **** and do anything to get the money rolling in or boot him out of your life. Are you stupid?
http://www.careercc.com/interv3.shtml
there are tons of resources on the internet...type in your search bar: interview tips or job interview tips
How do you dress? etcOk, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
Robert Mallory wrote a best selling book called, Dress for Success. It has a lot of valuable information. And I found his advise to be very good. I worked as a business consultant for 30+ years - always having to go meet people. How you dress (the color) causes people to react to you in certain ways - many times, they do not realize they are even doing it. If money is tight, go to the public library and look for a copy.
Second, to get ready for the interview - I would write about 10 questions I thought they would ask me. And I would practice answering those questions - by talking out loud to myself (in front of a mirror). I preferred that the 1st interview be for a job that I didn't really want. To me, it was just a practice interview.
As soon as that interview was over, i would go back to my car and write down the questions they asked ma and ad them to my list of practice interview questions.
I would also make sure I got to the interview early. If noting else, I would get there 30 minutes early (due to traffic problem, trying to find a parking space, etc). so I could walk into the interview while CALM..
Don't sweat (easier said than done). And have a firm, but not overly strong handshake.
If you have a camera - film the practice interview. He might notice some body language that he is using that could be improved or avoided.
When I got out of college in 1972, it took over a year to get a job. The more I was turned down, the more depressed I got. But finally, just about when I had completely given up - I was hired.
How to dress will depend in part ofn what the job is for. Someone going into McDonalds in a business suit isn't a good match. But he can seldom go wrong with a white long sleeve shirt, and a dark blue tie. Probably best with a black belt and black shoes. Dark blue pants - but not black pants. Blue projects a business image - black pants/suits reminds people of funerals and people who do not have money. If you don't have dark blue, try a dark gray suit. If a dark gray suit, maybe a maroon tie with a matching belt. If you don'thave these thing, and you can afford to buy some of them - go with your husband to but them. But be carefukl, Mallory wrote that having a wife or GF pick out your clothes was great if you were looking for your next wife or GF. There is a difference between business clothes and casual clothes. For casual, he should listen to your advice.Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
I would research the company that he is being interviewed for. Know exactly what position he is applying for and exactly as best as you can, the duties that go with it. Make sure you are qualified for the job and have the applicable licenses, trained required by the job. No sense in wasting his and the interviewers time. Dress according to job type. example: office job might wear suit and die, not blue jeans and tshirt. construction would be just the opposite. you know what i mean. some questions:
1. why do you want this job
2. what qualifies you for this job
3. tell me about yourself
4. what is the best characteristic about yourself
5. How do you get along with supervisors
be open and ask any questions you have about the job and it's duties. DO NOT ask so when do we get breaks, is it a half hour lunch, or an hour.
a confident, knowledgeable person will be the one who gets hired.
Well, I will been in this situation next year because I am about to retire from the military. I am going to say the most important thing to do is tell the truth and be sure of yourself. Go, in with a positive attitude. Make sure you make direct eye contact. This is very important. Keep your answer short and sweet but most important to the point. As for you dress code I would say it depends on the type of job, however always use this basic principle, a pair of slacks, nice dress shirt and tie with a nice pair of dress never fails. Good luck.
I will give you a hint of something that worked for my wife. She is very smart with several degrees, but could not seem to get pass the interview process. So we sit up a camera and recorded her during a fake interview. After watching her, she saw that she was fidgety and talked to much, over answering the questions. With some practice, she was able to land a very good job. So give it a try you may be surprised at how he comes off at the interview. Good luck.
A lot of what you need to know depends on what kind of work he is looking for. If its in an office environment he should wear a tie, if he's interviewing at Walmart the dress code is less severe. Update his resume. And tell him to be honest and straight forward with his answers, don't fidget, and don't put his old job or old bosses down. Be confident.
Hasn't had any job? You got to be joking! Not even part time? How do you survive? Tell him to get off his lazy good for nothing **** and do anything to get the money rolling in or boot him out of your life. Are you stupid?
http://www.careercc.com/interv3.shtml
there are tons of resources on the internet...type in your search bar: interview tips or job interview tips
You guys have advice or suggestions for a spouse coping with his wife's severe stage of breast cancer?
Hello. I hope that you are getting some outside support at such a difficult time for you both.
Are you in the UK? If so, then you may have come into contact with Macmillan Support, who will advise you. If you need practical respite from care at home - especially at night - then the Marie CurieNursingng Service provide free nursing care to enable the carer/ spouse to get some rest, especially through the night. Cancerbackup UK are also a wonderful source of information and have a very helpfull booklet, which you can either send for or download from their website.
info@cancerbackup.org.uk or info@mariecurie.org.uk
Take care of yourself, as well as your wife.
You guys have advice or suggestions for a spouse coping with his wife's severe stage of breast cancer?
You sound like a caring helpful spouse.
Ozgirl had some good advice about cancer support groups - they REALLY are helpful and non-judgemental giving sensible advice. If you live elsewhere look under Contacts on www.after-cancer.com, in case there is a group near you.
This website also have some helpful information under Treats.
Good luck to you both.
Verite R
. You guys have advice or suggestions for a spouse coping with his wife's severe stage of breast cancer?
I lost my wife to breast cancer. My advice is to live each day by telling yourself to put one foot in front of the other. That's what I had to do, for example, brush my teeth, take a shower, get dressed, etc. If I thought of the whole day it was so depressing so all I could do was one step at a time. It helped.
domy due it alonr i delkt with mom ( throat cancer ) by myself for a yrear she is detotiating and i am a basket case ( suvidal at times ) He should try and hire finf prople to help early on not lret it spiral like i duid
Treat her as if she isn't dying. Do normal things as much as possible. Join a support group. It's tough.
Are you in the UK? If so, then you may have come into contact with Macmillan Support, who will advise you. If you need practical respite from care at home - especially at night - then the Marie CurieNursingng Service provide free nursing care to enable the carer/ spouse to get some rest, especially through the night. Cancerbackup UK are also a wonderful source of information and have a very helpfull booklet, which you can either send for or download from their website.
info@cancerbackup.org.uk or info@mariecurie.org.uk
Take care of yourself, as well as your wife.
You guys have advice or suggestions for a spouse coping with his wife's severe stage of breast cancer?
You sound like a caring helpful spouse.
Ozgirl had some good advice about cancer support groups - they REALLY are helpful and non-judgemental giving sensible advice. If you live elsewhere look under Contacts on www.after-cancer.com, in case there is a group near you.
This website also have some helpful information under Treats.
Good luck to you both.
Verite R
. You guys have advice or suggestions for a spouse coping with his wife's severe stage of breast cancer?
I lost my wife to breast cancer. My advice is to live each day by telling yourself to put one foot in front of the other. That's what I had to do, for example, brush my teeth, take a shower, get dressed, etc. If I thought of the whole day it was so depressing so all I could do was one step at a time. It helped.
domy due it alonr i delkt with mom ( throat cancer ) by myself for a yrear she is detotiating and i am a basket case ( suvidal at times ) He should try and hire finf prople to help early on not lret it spiral like i duid
Treat her as if she isn't dying. Do normal things as much as possible. Join a support group. It's tough.
Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
I am having a hard time with my boyfriend being gone. Does anyone have any suggestions about ways to cope? I know the first thing on everyone's mind is to go see a doctor but I have white coat syndrom. So any suggestions that I can do myself would be great. Thank you!Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
OK! I'm qualified to answer this question. Time to get out of the house, and find a job. Get a hobby. Deployments suck. I won't lie to you. Ive been through more dets, deployments and work ups then I care to mention. But that's what I do. Ive got 3 kids and a home based business to keep me plenty busy. Workout, get in shape, go to college or vocational school, start a small home based business, go home and stay with your folks. IF you see any bad news about anything military related don't watch it. Go to the family support meetings if you can. That's my best advice.Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
it depends on in what way(s) you are missing him. in general, i know, but if its more a sexual thing, i would say a nice hot bath,a p. flick and a vibrator/dildo should hold u over. emotionally, physically, etc. i would say soend more time with his relatives, or even carry pictures around of him. this way u c his face alot and after awhile u wont feel as detached as u feel now. another great idea is whenever u do feel down about him, make a camcording of ur feelings, whether its sexy or just emotional. like a video diary. if none of this helps, u really need to seek help because they are diagnosing spouses of deployed soldiers nowadays with clincal depression because of the same feelings u have, but the women never talk to anybody or try to help themselves fell a lil better to get them by until he comes home. play it smart, so he can have a sane girlfriend when he comes home.
What you need is a diversion, something to occupy your mind. Contact with other spouses in the same situation can sometimes help. Try doing something completely different that you have never tried before, like learning ballroom dancing, or becoming a volunteer assistant on an archaeological dig.
If you need something for the long lonely nights, get along to the local sex shop and try something you have never tried before, or take up astronomy and get to know the stars.
Hope this helps, good luck.
First of all, boyfriends are not spouses. You have to be married to call him your spouse.
No wonder women are so screwed up these days... they don't deal with reality.
The only thing now I can think is about future. If you intend to have his baby when he comes back, don't! Not until after his quarantine period to weed off the immunity injections against any biological agents in Iraq (could be 6months to a year)otherwise you will have severe stress from a highly deformed baby that has to be put down.
If you have white coat syndrome, ask the doctor to wear a different colored coat.
keep busy writing letters to him, also fix care packages, this will help you and him both. try to make friends with other spouses in your position they will understand your needs better than any one.our local troops came home this week, the news was full of wives and husbands talking about how they supported each other, they worked together all year, and they were very organized , the homecoming banners they made stretched for miles, my friend told me as she was coming in how wonderfull it was to read all the signs. people stood out in the heat for hours to cheer these people home. if your location does'nt have a support group, try forming one that should keep you busy, and helping at the same time. God Bless you my prayers are with you!!
try to connect with some military wives so you'll have someone to commiserate with. You'll all feel better know ing you're not in it alone.
Does his unit put on Video Teleconferences so families can see and talk with their Soldiers? If not, ask you FRG leader is the unit can start doing this.
Email, or write to him everyday. Send small gifts...just being n the look-out for a gift will help you. Start planning the Mid-tour leave plans, or the re-deployment party.
Go volunteer! Get involved with his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) They're real lifesavers, and everyone's going through the same thing you are! The FRG should be open to Girlfriend's/Significant others of unit members as well. If you moved back home when his unit deployed, consider moving closer to his duty station (unless your family is really helping you out by you being home). Exercise...go to gym everyday and make friends there. Speak with your clergyman, or a military chaplain. Plan the Wedding.
Check out www.militaryonesource.com
Just some ideas. My wife was in Iraq for 15 months not too long ago, so I know what your going through.
Take Care.
my brother's in iraq for the second time currently.
it is scary, but let yourself think about him.
keep pictures out, pray when you have spare time.
also, focus on the positive.
when a soldier dies, and it comes on tv, change the channel.
it'll only affect you negatively.
OK! I'm qualified to answer this question. Time to get out of the house, and find a job. Get a hobby. Deployments suck. I won't lie to you. Ive been through more dets, deployments and work ups then I care to mention. But that's what I do. Ive got 3 kids and a home based business to keep me plenty busy. Workout, get in shape, go to college or vocational school, start a small home based business, go home and stay with your folks. IF you see any bad news about anything military related don't watch it. Go to the family support meetings if you can. That's my best advice.Does anyone have any advice of how to cope with a deployed spouse?
it depends on in what way(s) you are missing him. in general, i know, but if its more a sexual thing, i would say a nice hot bath,a p. flick and a vibrator/dildo should hold u over. emotionally, physically, etc. i would say soend more time with his relatives, or even carry pictures around of him. this way u c his face alot and after awhile u wont feel as detached as u feel now. another great idea is whenever u do feel down about him, make a camcording of ur feelings, whether its sexy or just emotional. like a video diary. if none of this helps, u really need to seek help because they are diagnosing spouses of deployed soldiers nowadays with clincal depression because of the same feelings u have, but the women never talk to anybody or try to help themselves fell a lil better to get them by until he comes home. play it smart, so he can have a sane girlfriend when he comes home.
What you need is a diversion, something to occupy your mind. Contact with other spouses in the same situation can sometimes help. Try doing something completely different that you have never tried before, like learning ballroom dancing, or becoming a volunteer assistant on an archaeological dig.
If you need something for the long lonely nights, get along to the local sex shop and try something you have never tried before, or take up astronomy and get to know the stars.
Hope this helps, good luck.
First of all, boyfriends are not spouses. You have to be married to call him your spouse.
No wonder women are so screwed up these days... they don't deal with reality.
The only thing now I can think is about future. If you intend to have his baby when he comes back, don't! Not until after his quarantine period to weed off the immunity injections against any biological agents in Iraq (could be 6months to a year)otherwise you will have severe stress from a highly deformed baby that has to be put down.
If you have white coat syndrome, ask the doctor to wear a different colored coat.
keep busy writing letters to him, also fix care packages, this will help you and him both. try to make friends with other spouses in your position they will understand your needs better than any one.our local troops came home this week, the news was full of wives and husbands talking about how they supported each other, they worked together all year, and they were very organized , the homecoming banners they made stretched for miles, my friend told me as she was coming in how wonderfull it was to read all the signs. people stood out in the heat for hours to cheer these people home. if your location does'nt have a support group, try forming one that should keep you busy, and helping at the same time. God Bless you my prayers are with you!!
try to connect with some military wives so you'll have someone to commiserate with. You'll all feel better know ing you're not in it alone.
Does his unit put on Video Teleconferences so families can see and talk with their Soldiers? If not, ask you FRG leader is the unit can start doing this.
Email, or write to him everyday. Send small gifts...just being n the look-out for a gift will help you. Start planning the Mid-tour leave plans, or the re-deployment party.
Go volunteer! Get involved with his unit's FRG (Family Readiness Group) They're real lifesavers, and everyone's going through the same thing you are! The FRG should be open to Girlfriend's/Significant others of unit members as well. If you moved back home when his unit deployed, consider moving closer to his duty station (unless your family is really helping you out by you being home). Exercise...go to gym everyday and make friends there. Speak with your clergyman, or a military chaplain. Plan the Wedding.
Check out www.militaryonesource.com
Just some ideas. My wife was in Iraq for 15 months not too long ago, so I know what your going through.
Take Care.
my brother's in iraq for the second time currently.
it is scary, but let yourself think about him.
keep pictures out, pray when you have spare time.
also, focus on the positive.
when a soldier dies, and it comes on tv, change the channel.
it'll only affect you negatively.
Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
do good at an interview....what would you say? what are some good rules? what are some questions to expect? what gets you hired?
How do you dress? etcOk, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
Robert Mallory wrote a best selling book called, Dress for Success. It has a lot of valuable information. And I found his advise to be very good. I worked as a business consultant for 30+ years - always having to go meet people. How you dress (the color) causes people to react to you in certain ways - many times, they do not realize they are even doing it. If money is tight, go to the public library and look for a copy.
Second, to get ready for the interview - I would write about 10 questions I thought they would ask me. And I would practice answering those questions - by talking out loud to myself (in front of a mirror). I preferred that the 1st interview be for a job that I didn't really want. To me, it was just a practice interview.
As soon as that interview was over, i would go back to my car and write down the questions they asked ma and ad them to my list of practice interview questions.
I would also make sure I got to the interview early. If noting else, I would get there 30 minutes early (due to traffic problem, trying to find a parking space, etc). so I could walk into the interview while CALM..
Don't sweat (easier said than done). And have a firm, but not overly strong handshake.
If you have a camera - film the practice interview. He might notice some body language that he is using that could be improved or avoided.
When I got out of college in 1972, it took over a year to get a job. The more I was turned down, the more depressed I got. But finally, just about when I had completely given up - I was hired.
How to dress will depend in part ofn what the job is for. Someone going into McDonalds in a business suit isn't a good match. But he can seldom go wrong with a white long sleeve shirt, and a dark blue tie. Probably best with a black belt and black shoes. Dark blue pants - but not black pants. Blue projects a business image - black pants/suits reminds people of funerals and people who do not have money. If you don't have dark blue, try a dark gray suit. If a dark gray suit, maybe a maroon tie with a matching belt. If you don'thave these thing, and you can afford to buy some of them - go with your husband to but them. But be carefukl, Mallory wrote that having a wife or GF pick out your clothes was great if you were looking for your next wife or GF. There is a difference between business clothes and casual clothes. For casual, he should listen to your advice.Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
I would research the company that he is being interviewed for. Know exactly what position he is applying for and exactly as best as you can, the duties that go with it. Make sure you are qualified for the job and have the applicable licenses, trained required by the job. No sense in wasting his and the interviewers time. Dress according to job type. example: office job might wear suit and die, not blue jeans and tshirt. construction would be just the opposite. you know what i mean. some questions:
1. why do you want this job
2. what qualifies you for this job
3. tell me about yourself
4. what is the best characteristic about yourself
5. How do you get along with supervisors
be open and ask any questions you have about the job and it's duties. DO NOT ask so when do we get breaks, is it a half hour lunch, or an hour.
a confident, knowledgeable person will be the one who gets hired.
Well, I will been in this situation next year because I am about to retire from the military. I am going to say the most important thing to do is tell the truth and be sure of yourself. Go, in with a positive attitude. Make sure you make direct eye contact. This is very important. Keep your answer short and sweet but most important to the point. As for you dress code I would say it depends on the type of job, however always use this basic principle, a pair of slacks, nice dress shirt and tie with a nice pair of dress never fails. Good luck.
I will give you a hint of something that worked for my wife. She is very smart with several degrees, but could not seem to get pass the interview process. So we sit up a camera and recorded her during a fake interview. After watching her, she saw that she was fidgety and talked to much, over answering the questions. With some practice, she was able to land a very good job. So give it a try you may be surprised at how he comes off at the interview. Good luck.
A lot of what you need to know depends on what kind of work he is looking for. If its in an office environment he should wear a tie, if he's interviewing at Walmart the dress code is less severe. Update his resume. And tell him to be honest and straight forward with his answers, don't fidget, and don't put his old job or old bosses down. Be confident.
Hasn't had any job? You got to be joking! Not even part time? How do you survive? Tell him to get off his lazy good for nothing **** and do anything to get the money rolling in or boot him out of your life. Are you stupid?
http://www.careercc.com/interv3.shtml
there are tons of resources on the internet...type in your search bar: interview tips or job interview tips
How do you dress? etcOk, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
Robert Mallory wrote a best selling book called, Dress for Success. It has a lot of valuable information. And I found his advise to be very good. I worked as a business consultant for 30+ years - always having to go meet people. How you dress (the color) causes people to react to you in certain ways - many times, they do not realize they are even doing it. If money is tight, go to the public library and look for a copy.
Second, to get ready for the interview - I would write about 10 questions I thought they would ask me. And I would practice answering those questions - by talking out loud to myself (in front of a mirror). I preferred that the 1st interview be for a job that I didn't really want. To me, it was just a practice interview.
As soon as that interview was over, i would go back to my car and write down the questions they asked ma and ad them to my list of practice interview questions.
I would also make sure I got to the interview early. If noting else, I would get there 30 minutes early (due to traffic problem, trying to find a parking space, etc). so I could walk into the interview while CALM..
Don't sweat (easier said than done). And have a firm, but not overly strong handshake.
If you have a camera - film the practice interview. He might notice some body language that he is using that could be improved or avoided.
When I got out of college in 1972, it took over a year to get a job. The more I was turned down, the more depressed I got. But finally, just about when I had completely given up - I was hired.
How to dress will depend in part ofn what the job is for. Someone going into McDonalds in a business suit isn't a good match. But he can seldom go wrong with a white long sleeve shirt, and a dark blue tie. Probably best with a black belt and black shoes. Dark blue pants - but not black pants. Blue projects a business image - black pants/suits reminds people of funerals and people who do not have money. If you don't have dark blue, try a dark gray suit. If a dark gray suit, maybe a maroon tie with a matching belt. If you don'thave these thing, and you can afford to buy some of them - go with your husband to but them. But be carefukl, Mallory wrote that having a wife or GF pick out your clothes was great if you were looking for your next wife or GF. There is a difference between business clothes and casual clothes. For casual, he should listen to your advice.Ok, if your spouse is out of work and he hasnt job interviewed in years so he asks you for advice and hints to?
I would research the company that he is being interviewed for. Know exactly what position he is applying for and exactly as best as you can, the duties that go with it. Make sure you are qualified for the job and have the applicable licenses, trained required by the job. No sense in wasting his and the interviewers time. Dress according to job type. example: office job might wear suit and die, not blue jeans and tshirt. construction would be just the opposite. you know what i mean. some questions:
1. why do you want this job
2. what qualifies you for this job
3. tell me about yourself
4. what is the best characteristic about yourself
5. How do you get along with supervisors
be open and ask any questions you have about the job and it's duties. DO NOT ask so when do we get breaks, is it a half hour lunch, or an hour.
a confident, knowledgeable person will be the one who gets hired.
Well, I will been in this situation next year because I am about to retire from the military. I am going to say the most important thing to do is tell the truth and be sure of yourself. Go, in with a positive attitude. Make sure you make direct eye contact. This is very important. Keep your answer short and sweet but most important to the point. As for you dress code I would say it depends on the type of job, however always use this basic principle, a pair of slacks, nice dress shirt and tie with a nice pair of dress never fails. Good luck.
I will give you a hint of something that worked for my wife. She is very smart with several degrees, but could not seem to get pass the interview process. So we sit up a camera and recorded her during a fake interview. After watching her, she saw that she was fidgety and talked to much, over answering the questions. With some practice, she was able to land a very good job. So give it a try you may be surprised at how he comes off at the interview. Good luck.
A lot of what you need to know depends on what kind of work he is looking for. If its in an office environment he should wear a tie, if he's interviewing at Walmart the dress code is less severe. Update his resume. And tell him to be honest and straight forward with his answers, don't fidget, and don't put his old job or old bosses down. Be confident.
Hasn't had any job? You got to be joking! Not even part time? How do you survive? Tell him to get off his lazy good for nothing **** and do anything to get the money rolling in or boot him out of your life. Are you stupid?
http://www.careercc.com/interv3.shtml
there are tons of resources on the internet...type in your search bar: interview tips or job interview tips
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